Just Blog

So I talk and I chat and I read and I write and I listen and I speak and I watch and I teach and I grow and I know
Hung out with an old time friend, good to catch up. It is good to stay in touch, it feels good to catch up
I give everything over to you Lord
Sheena

The Trouble With Writing

You sometimes don't have anything else to say in person, because you have worn out, written it out, and talk and thought about everything you could possible think of. Still, when there is no one to talk to, writing starts to look really good. REALLY GOOD. Not because my Blog, The Simple Side, can't talk back, cause I wouldn't mind a little feed back sometime's, but because I know writing will cause a lighter heart, and a smile that's genuinely REAL.
I give everything over to you Lord
Sheena

Expectations

I realized I am always expecting something. I couldn't say always, but most of the time, it's good. I will expect good things from a more than good God. I expect to see people changed in the Lord's name. I have faith and conviction that what I've gone through and what I've managed to overcome will be something I can use to help someone else's life. Good expectations and an even better God. Mmm, that sounds so wonderful to me. I had a big event at the church, keeping me there from 12:30 in the afternoon until 10:35 tonight! Getting food, setting the stage, cleaning, greeting, welcoming. Yeah, and that's the half of it! It was good, and I think there was only one point where I felt overwhelmed. At Costco. When I couldn't exactly maneuver my shopping cart because... I had 5 big cases of water, 5 thirty-two pacts of soda, 5 bags of chips, 5 bags of candy, and a whole lot'a stares.
I don't know where I was going with this Blog, but my friend called in the middle of me writing, asking for relational advice for he and his girlfriend. AND... two hours later, I was too tierd to write. I hardly have random Blog's, talking about, well, anything. Maybe I should write more about the little things. I guess I do in a way! Alright alright alright. I'm at work! Had to finish this Blog though, it was bugging me!

Brighter

I cover the walls of the youth room with newer, brighter paint colors! Symbolizing change, new beginnings, a fresh start, erasing the past, not forgetting what we learned. In a way, I paint over things in my life, mentally of course, underneath the freshly painted yellow there is red, green, blue, purple, black, white, silver, pink, and every other color under the sky. Which, I am proud of, the layers, the learned things; I am all about growth, power of change, the so called 'cliché' stuff! The youth room is not the only thing looking brighter. My days are also looking brighter! Thank you Lord, once again for intervening, sweeping me off my self pity and my lack of thankfulness streak.

I give everything over to you Lord.

KeepYourMindOffIt

I've kept busy, so my mind won't wonder and cause me to hurt. Painting the church. Finally here, and it is going good. Really good actually. Ashley is keeping my busy, well more like, keeping me company. Then I sit to write yet another thoughtful Blog and I'm struck with reality. I felt so strong. Empowered you could even say. But I've lost it. Maybe just for a little, but I've felt like I've been knocked off my horse, pushed off the roof, tripped while running. 'Drama Queen' anyone? Empty. I think that's what it is. I don't want to write a sad Blog, unlike yesterday's, because I have so much to be grateful for. SO MUCH. I am blessed by God in thing's I have still not recognized, I don’t want to take life for granted. Then again, I don’t feel like I have much at the same time. Who am I to judge though. I have to help Ashley clean house before her family comes home. But I was going to lose it, so I had to get it off my mind. Even though while writing I kind of did... Lose it.

I give everything over to you Lord

SEX AND THE CITY

So as my Sunday night felt like it would never end, I called up the ‘Girls.’ Jessica, Allison, Lisa, and Hannah. Yes, those are the ‘Girls.’ We went to a late night showing of SEX AND THE CITY. While the night started off happy, slowly it kicked in. That feeling where you know everything’s okay, but you feel like everything’s going wrong. That one. Weird I know. I feel a sense of loneliness. Again. The empty hole that is filled for only at moments at a time. It’s hard, and incredibly strange that I can smile past the tears. I wouldn’t say tears of pain. Or maybe that’s what it is. I don’t want to say my heart is a little crushed. At the same time, it is. Nothing that can’t be fixed, believe me, I’ve fixed every broken heart I've had. I truly believe anything is possible. I embarked on a new adventure, something I WILL NEVER FORGET. It made me feel excitement, fear, happiness. One thing I do not have is… Regret. I am so glad. I don’t feel like anything can really hold me back. So I sat in the movie, silently thinking about what possibly could happen in my future. As the Sex And The City girls talked and walked with a certain sense of confidence I was reminded. Something, CONFIDENCE, I want to keep having. I know I am picking attributes I want from a secular movie. Confidence is confidence right? I don’t really know anymore. About a lot of stuff, the stuff I was so sure about. That’s okay though. Right? So my phone vibrated in the movie, and I realized I had an expectation of who it’d be. I don’t want to even say disappointment, but at the same time, I couldn’t really say what I felt. My mind is running on little sleep, and my heart is running on old fuel, at least that’s how it feels. The more I write the more I see myself getting depressed. That time of the month? Or am I really feeling depressed? For the last time, I WOULDN’T KNOW HOW I’M FEELING. That’s OKAY though. I know it is. I am so glad I have God’s love. The love that will never go away, Thank God. Literally. I want to embrace the things I have learned and will learn. And to think… All in the new Sex And The City movie!

I give everything over to you Lord.

CHERISH IT

And so trying something new isn't bad.
It's new.

Trust, like I said before, isn't bad.
It's trust.

So I'll walk a little taller.
Head a little higher.
Smile a little brighter.

Knowing... Understanding... Desiring...

I am still excited.
Unhurt.
Thank you.

I give everything over to you Lord