Rise Above And Beat It

He hurt me, yet I shared my cookie with him.
They talked bad about me, and I offered them the other cheek.
He walked in with another girl, and I shook her hand with gladness.
When she yelled at me I thought, her eyes are gorgeous.
He said I wasn't pretty enough but I loved myself through it.
You didn't even leave me with a heart, yet I put yours back together.
He called me, to ask what he should do about his girlfriend problems, and I helped.
I was told no, but I did it.
They said it didn't look good enough, but there is nothing better than perfection.
I was asked to stop being friends with you, I'm so glad I'm your best friend.
They were pointing and laughing at you, I knew cause I was sitting with you.
I was told the club is "bad," but I still go, and I dance clean and good.
I was asked to rise to the occasions and I did it with grace and poise.
I give everything over to you Lord

And so it happend.

Things A]R[E looking brighter!
I have basically finished the youth rooms in my church. I have to say they look very nice. I will have pictures up here soon, to show all the hard work I put into the Kingdom of God. I talked to some girls tonight at youth group and I was pleasantly surprised that the saying is true, "There is more than what meets the eye." I am excited about cleaning things up in my life, and doing the things I've neglected to do because of the chaos at church. I am happy and smiling, and I really do mean it. There is no rhyme or reason to what I'm writing besides the here's and now's of my life. I have to work tomorrow at 5 and I have been home all day today, I'm really bummed. I left the house at 9:30am, and now it is 9:43pm. OUCH. I'm pooped. Tomorrow night I think I’m going to relax. Sleep. Read my Bible. Write. Write. And more write. My arms are covered in paint. My feet and sore and weak. My eyes are heavy and tired. My legs feel like they can't support me. My head feels to big for my body. Then I remember... I accomplished more than I ever expected. Actually, I expected to accomplish allot. Not because I can do everything and get it done, because I can't, but because God was with me, walking me through the procces of finishing everything and that is how I completed everything. Thank you God. I have once again wanted nothing more but for my head to hit the pillow. So I'm off to sleep and dream, to wake and smile, to learn and laugh, to sing and dance, to joke and be serious.
I feel accomplished. I really do.
I give everything over to you Lord.

BLAH

As the days seem longer and strength seems lessened.
I am facing the finishing touches on the youth building. The youth building I have literally put blood sweat and tears into. I am so ready to be done, but at the same time, God wants me right where I am. I can feel it. I have been going through so many emotional ups and down's I have neglected to really write anything of value. In case of an emotional break down on my Blog. No good. I am feeling alright, dead tired from all the work I've been doing, but I see myself slowly, very slowly, coming into myself again. I am thankful that I have the capability to work with paint and artsy little things, God blesses me, although I have to work hard at it, he gives me chances to do what I love. I am still trying to be a prime example for people. Although I fail. I keep pushing for greatness. I want to pick out the little things again, that made me so happy like... a week ago. Before the madness at the youth group started. I would be thankful for the littlest things, not that I don't feel the same way, but I am trying to see the little things past the huge task of finishing the youth rooms, planning for youth summer camp, working at 5am every morning, cleaning up my own life, focusing and making time for God, and all the in betweens that I forgot. I didn't mean for this Blog to be so overwhelming and heavy laden with... messy, head aching, tiring, draining thoughts, but it's on my mind, and now it's own my Blog. I need praying to look up, look past, and learn. I am being stretched to my limits. I think? I finally get to sleep in tomorrow morning, and that is about the most exciting thing I have yet to experience today... and this whole week. Aw. I promise, the next Blog wont wear you out. I'll remember to find the little things, and I will share them with you. For now, I only have sleeping on my mind. So good night! How funny, I've never said good night on my Blog.
I give everything over to you Lord

Dead to feeling

Nothing can describe what I'm feeling right now.
I am worn out.
Sick to my head.
Stressed out.
Bruised. Literally.
Tired and more tired.
Yet all of those things still don't amount to what I'm feeling.

Church

Ephesians 5:3-5

3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Preference
1 Corinthians 6:12

12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.

Consience
1 Timothy 1:19

Having faith and a good conscience, which some rejecting have made shipwreck concerning the faith.

Nourishment
philippians 4:8

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Testimony
1 Chorinthians 8:12-13

2 When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

Baby Steps

I want to go back to the baby steps when I didn't know it was a dog eat dog world. Where little girls my size would spill and twirl. I'd like to remember how it felt to have fun, laughing with my friends, eating as many pieces of bubble yum. The stupid stuff is what I lived for, there was no crying no slamming doors no withering away lying on the kitchen floor. I like to say I have come a long way, no more scooters of pick-tail braids. When will I feel it, is it going to kick in, the repercussions of all my sins. Now I know I've felt it, wash right over my face, I have been in the world, yes, I have gotten a little taste. I spit it out powerfully to the ground; overcome some battles, now I'm hearing a different sound. Trust me, I am not kidding around, I have tied my shoelaces and I'm about to hit the town. One more thing, I'm halfway about to drown.
I give everything over to you Lord

Match Up

You know when your heart say's yes and your mind say's no.
Or when your mind say's yes and your heart say's no.

That's where I am. Completely and totally.


Confused


I want to disown.. wrong word, move on from certain old friends.
Scared, or just honestly sick of being hurt.

Through me a line. Real my heart in. I might stay. I might sin.


I might possibly even give in.


Wrong words now sound right. Impossible doesn't exist in sight.
So I'm sorry for saying I want to move on, I guess I have listened to, to many boy hate songs. I'll stand, and I'll be proud to call you my friend. Yes, yes, yes, I promise my friend till the end.

I give everything over to you Lord