Hello 30!

Hello Thirty

I'm a few short days into my 30's, and so far, I'm feeling expectant for this next year(s) of my life! For me, 20's were monumental years filled with huge moments. I know many people can relate to that. So much happened in my 20's -- From Kasey and me getting married, buying our first home, getting a new car, landing new jobs, paying off tons of debt, etc.  But 20's for me were also awkward, tumultuous, life-defining years. Filled with loss, grief, and trying to figure who I am and the worth I have. Knowing I've had quite a full life in my 20's, I feel like it's only fitting to recap two things I learned from my life as a twenty-year-old Sheena!

Here we go!

MISTAKES DON'T DISQUALIFY YOU

I can write about this topic from now until forever, but I'll try to capture all my thoughts in a couple paragraphs. I made so many mistakes in my 20's - and I thought that making mistakes disqualified me as a leader or as someone who can add value to others lives. I didn't realize that some of my biggest mistakes, missteps, and learning curves, were actually my moments of greatest relatability to others. The aha moment of, "WAIT, you've experienced that too!" "I've made that same mistake!" "I totally did the same thing." It was in the times that I thought my life couldn't get darker, couldn't be more broken, and would certainly never come back from my failures… that I now have the ability to reach someone who is facing their own hell and grab them in their worst moments and say, "Trust me. This is not the end. You can find redemption, healing, new beginnings, fresh starts, and things CAN actually get better."

Now of course, mistakes still have consequences, depending on the severity of what happened. But my best advice when you've done something that doesn't truly reflect the person you want to become... OWN up to it. Address it right away. Apologize for the things that were in your control. Admit when you are wrong and made bad choices. And most importantly don't keep your failures in the dark. There is nothing worse than hiding away, little by little, all the things that make you feel "less-than". News flash!!! We're all messed up. We are all a work in progress. We all have made mistakes, done things we aren't proud of, and the more you can heal from your decisions the more your mistakes become your connection to humanity, not your weakness.

Don't let things you have done hold you back from your purpose. Dust it off sugar! It's time to boldly pursue your destiny - yes, mistakes and all!

CHOOSE VULNERABILITY FIRST 

I'm not gonna lie, sometimes being vulnerable sucks. It's that open space where you disclose a deep part of who you are, how you think, what you believe, all while knowing there is a chance that people can be judgmental, hurtful, and completely misunderstand you. Being vulnerable can be used against you. Being vulnerable usually costs your comfort. Vulnerability is definitely exposing. 

Now that I'm writing this... vulnerability sounds terrible. Also, how many times can I write “vulnerable?” 

But, in my life, I have made a conscious decision to choose vulnerability. Even when it's uncomfortable. Not just for the sake of me being vulnerable, but for the sake of other people who are also looking for deep connection but lack the trust to really share their world with someone. I can't tell you how many times I have chosen vulnerability when it would have been easy to give fake answers. Only to be greeted with someone hearing me and cracking open their heart a little bit, knowing that they weren't the only ones dealing with life, struggles, or navigating this crazy world! 

While being vulnerable is a great feat on some days - I have found the hardest part is being the FIRST person to be vulnerable. It always seems harder to be the first one to share honestly about what's going on in your world -- it's challenging to not know how you will be received or preserved, but deciding to share regardless. 

I currently feel like I'm during a horrible job explaining the depths and passion I feel about this subject. So, I'll give you an example from my own life: 

I was asked one morning how my day was starting out... it just so happened that it was a rough morning for Kasey and myself. We had been arguing in the car for like a solid 20 min and we still hadn't gotten to a resolution. So, at the moment I was asked, "how's your morning going, " I was confronted with two choices. Tell the person asking that I was doing fine and leave it at that, or to be more transparent and communicate that it was a rough morning for Kasey and me. I took a deep breath a chose honesty. I actually communicated that it was a rough start to the day and that Kasey and I were working through some stuff. Not knowing how I would be received - I braced myself for judgment. To my surprise, the response I got was, "Oh my gosh, my husband and I have been having such a tough morning too. I'm so glad you said something." Now, the person asking is not typically one to divulge personal information, so it caught me off guard. I would also assume that if I hadn't shared, she wouldn't have shared. It was my way of saying, "girl, you aren't crazy, we are all working on stuff!" 

*disclaimer | be wise with who you share stuff with, don't just go tossing your heart to the wind and trusting people who don't have your best interest in mind. Also, don't overshare all your personal details, you can communicate the heart of a situation without making people feel uncomfortable with the amount of info you are sharing. k.bye.

I hope this encourages you on your journey. I hope that as we navigate our mistakes and choose vulnerability and connection, that we can make this world a little brighter and a whole lot more accepting of the process that people are in. Life is hard already, being loving and kind, and always stayyyy fine! 

Cheers to my 30's and making the next 10 years great!

xoxo

Sheena

Painfully Beautiful

Its been a journey... 

An up and down, winding round kinda process. This life. My life. 

Through this post I will try to remain completely vulnerable and open to the honest truth about where my life currently stands and the craziness that encompasses it! Some days I want to laugh because my life always goes in a different direction then I thought it would. Then there are other days that I struggle to stay motivated and positive. These next 4 months of my life were supposed to look so different then they are turning out to be. These months were suppose to be a time of joy and celebration, a totally new chapter and season of my life. Well, lets just say that I am definitely in a new chapter and season of life, except it's just not the one I planned on. It's not bad, just really different. Through this really hard time I've been facing, I have seen a lot of blessings. Blessings I totally could have overlooked, but instead I now get to enjoy. There has been people in my life that have shared a word of encouragement and truth at just the right time. It fills my soul. When my life seemed to be falling apart and when I felt like I was the only one who's heart has ached this bad... I know I am not alone. I am NOT alone! It is beautiful. Simply beautiful.

So as I daily face this new and often times difficult process, I try to keep my head up, so I don't miss what is going on in the world around. I feel as though this stage in my life, this very stepping stone, is something I need to walk through in order to get where I need to go in my future. My motto has been, "Stay faithful in the small and expectant for the big." This short phrase encapsulates my outlook on life. I try my best to remain consistent and faithful in the everyday things I do and the relationships I am involved in. In hopes of not overlooking what is right in front of me. Instead making sure I am focusing on doing my everyday life well, while other doors are opened in the process.

I don't think I have questioned so many things in my life as I have these past few months. I have almost questioned everything. It has been a painfully beautiful journey. Because through this time, I have become more secure in what I believe and the things I stand for. In the midst of me questioning my life and the world around me, I have found answers, not to everything I long to understand, but enough answers to know that I am on the right path, I am heading in the right direction.

I truly love and desire to inspire and impact the people I come in contact with. I desire to share my life, with honesty, in hopes of connecting with others on a very authentic level. I want to meet people where they are at in life. Not to be critical or judgmental, but to give others the freedom to be transparent with their life. In the pain and in the beauty.

You are free to struggle, to question and to want to give up. It doesn't make you any less of who you are called to be. It is simply just a reminder that you aren't finished growing and being refined. You are brilliant.

I give everything to You Lord