Filled Up From Friendships

It has been a rough couple of weeks, emotionally, finding out about some devastating situations that have happen to people I love and cherish. I have cried, been angry, been confused and it's something that I can't get off my mind. God is good - I know this to be true - but this world is hopeless and extremely broken. In the past few weeks I was, unfortunately, reminded how much devastation plagues our world. This is not intended to be a downer post - this is actually a post to thank my friends and boyfriend and to share how fulfilled and blessed my life is.  

This morning, in the midst of knowing some of the situations that people are facing around me, I scrolled through the photos on my phone. {I do that a lot!} While I was scrolling through the pictures, I was reminded of how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends. Kasey and I attended a wedding this past weekend {Congrats Scott & Alyssa}, and a situation arose that made me look at him and express how thankful I was to have such great friends. There have been several decisions I have had to make along my journey that could have easily caused me to become isolated. But now, because of how my life has played out and the decisions I've made, I barely have a free weekend without spending time with friends or family - and dating Kasey continually keeps my life adventurous. As an introvert, I crave quiet rooms, sketch books, silence, and stillness. Kasey is very aware of my need for time by myself, and he knows when I need to curl up in a ball and not talk. But, thankfully, his vibrant spirit also helps me refrain from becoming a little recluse! I am so glad that I have girlfriends that are powerful, strong, open-minded and encouraging. I adore them and appreciate them - especially because I know how it feels to lack a solid group of girlfriends. & I am also so grateful for Kasey and the life he and I continue to create for ourselves. He helps me so much. On the way to the wedding he helped me clean deodorant off my dress, whipped lipstick off my teeth, got me a protein bar and banana cause I was "starving," & he even fixes all my stray hairs that fly in the wind. After all of that, I looked at him and said, "You must wonder how I manage to get ready in the morning, huh?!"

But more then just being aware of those small but important things, Kase brings me joy, laughter, excitement and love. He is an unbelievable combination of passion, kindness and understanding.

Today I am thankful. Thankful for friends, and my relationship with Kasey. My heart is so full.

My life is blessed. 

Butterflies

Season 1 Episode 2 "Butterflies"

{And this part of my life I call Friendship}

Have you ever felt like you knew someone for years after meeting them for the first time? Well, how about knowing someone for years except feeling like you don't know them at all? In your lifetime you will probably never have two friends who are exactly the same. Some you may be able to build a deep and personal relationship with, while others may be fleeting friends who never get to know the real you. Either way we will all at some point experience friendship, bad or good, meaningless or quality.

Often times I feel like it is easier to either be friends that don't really know much about each other or be in a relationship and skip the whole friendship part. Although, it is only within the past few weeks that I have grown a deeper appreciation for the true meaning of friend. And even though I still feel like I am working on what it means to be a friend at all times, I am learning to love the in between stage. Where it isn't quite acquaintances and still to far from relationship, but smack dab in the middle of em' both! The process of what it really means to learn about someone and understand how they operate is often times overlooked and seldom a priority.

I have been able to see friendship as a very powerful force in this world. I have seen friendships save lives. I have seen friendships encourage. I have seen friendships turn into prayer worriers, and an unstoppable forces of God. Friendships can be taken advantage. They can be ruined and destroyed. They have the ability to build up a generation that is made to be an agent of change. Friendships are important.

So as I embark on my "Episode 2" of seeking to understand friendships in a different light, I give Glory to God that He has been my sole reasoning in trying to learn when He has planned in the stage of Friendship!

I give every to You Lord

Am I ready Lord?

Graduation...

Am I ready to take the next step, to go into a battle field called "College?"
Am I ready to put two feet forward and jump into the things the devil will throw at me?
Am I ready to do what i have been taught to do? Share God with people around me.
Am I ready to learn that i am here for the sole purpose of benefiting the kingdom of God?
Am I ready to teach while I'm being taught at school?
Am I ready to grow up, mature, and become a college student fighting daily to be faithful to God?
Am I ready to trust fully that God has a wonderful purpose for putting me here.
Am I ready to hurt because i will recognize sin in the world?
Am I ready to fight
Am I ready to not settle
Am I ready to make a difference
Am I ready to show my parents i can do it
Am I ready to say, No when people say that i should
Am I ready to die to myself and have complete reliance on God?
Am I ready to do this?
Graduation is one thing. Putting on an over sized gown and i square hat with a long stringy thing to the side is another. Walking up getting a slip of paper that says, "You've worked 4 years for a tree to be cut down and flattened into a paper which has your name written in fancy writing, saying, "Congratulations Graduate." Am i proud of what I've left behind in my years of homeschooling, or was i just trying to "Get by?"
Will i know what i have truly learned in high school when I'm done with collage? If so, when will i truly know what I've learned in collage when I'm married and have 3 kids? I am beyond excited to graduate, but at times i don't feel ready, and at times, I am scared, and then i say to myself, "Take a deep Breath, and be thankful you aren't the one who is in control of your future."