Keep It Between Us

I tried to start writing this sentence about four times, but I got to the 6th letter and erased it each time. I find most things easy for me to write, not saying they’re good, but easy. Although this might seem very simple it's for some reason, hard for me to write. Let's see if I can get it out. I want so much to fall in love. I want to have someone who can hold me and I can know without any doubt that their in love with me. I have a hard time with feeling alone. It makes me feel cold, slightly bitter, and I desire to have someone close to me. Personally, I don't think that’s so much to ask. Besides, we all, in our own way, want that. I watched Diary of a Mad Black Women tonight, and I was so alone, under my big white comforter, when the ol' romantic senses kept on haunting my computer screen… God bless those with fairy tail stories. My focus is God. Understood. But I want someone I can Love, and have them appreciate every ounce of effort I put into them. I know the Lord will bless me for trying to be the woman God wants me to be, and yes, patients is a virtue, but in all honesty, I desire intimacy. Stop! Before you think sex, hot make out sessions or even caressing each other’s bodies, LET ME CLEARIFY. I want an intimate relationship with a man of God who can carry his responsibilities, as I will try to carry mine. I want him to be intimate with God, in turn having a certain intimacy with me. I wont go into every detail, but I feel so alone sometimes. It's good, I guess, reminds me who I really need to rely on, God, but, I can't help but get this off my mind, better yet, my heart. I know it's not cake. The whole relationship thing. Let's go out on a limb and what if I said I don't always want a piece of cake. My good friend reminded me, well, that love is a choice, not a feeling. I truly believe that's right. What would happen if I chose love every day then, in spite of the disagreements, hurt, and struggles, I could still make a daily decision to choose love. I want to make a daily decision to choose love. Battles build you.
Nothing bad comes from consistency.