Hello 2014

As I say "Goodbye" to 2013, I am left with more than distant memories. I am proud to say that I am able to take away several important lessons that will last me a lifetime.

This past year (2013) has been a defining year in my life. With so many changes and difficult decisions that I had to process through, I am leaving this year with a new appreciation for life. A new appreciation for my relationship with God, a new appreciation for family, friends, finances, work, church, and my relationship with my sweet boyfriend, Kasey.

This year, God was faithful to refine me. He showed me the areas of weakness in my life, He showed me that I am truly willing to give up anything to serve Him with my whole heart and He helped me grow a little more comfortable and confident in my own skin. This year was one of the most challenging seasons I've walked through. But I would walk through it again if it meant that I could fall more in love with my Savior.

This past year has felt like a launching pad for the greatness that God is going to do in 2014. A launching pad for the new adventures I'll take, the new people I'll meet, the new beginnings I'll create.

In 2013, there were a few areas in my life that I decided that I wanted to fight in order to see something beautiful be created. I decided that I didn't want any broken friendships in my life. I made a stand to mend any awkward or off-ish relationships I had. So I did. I put myself out there and built friendships with certain girls that I had previously disregarded. Instead of keeping them at arms distance, I embraced them with an authentic love, and forced myself into uncomfortable situations in order to mend the brokenness that, I felt, lingered between them and myself. I am thrilled to say, they embraced me back and I stand on good terms with them now. My desire is to be someone who people feel like they can run to in a time of need or if they are desperate for comfort. That is what sparked the whole thought in the first place. I am pleased to see those friendships made whole.

2013 has also birthed within me a new vision and inspiration for my future plans with work and with ministry. I couldn't be more excited to embark on a new journey! I decided that I wanted to start my own business and become my own boss. A scary, overwhelming and daunting project and I have no idea how I am going to accomplish it. But I am determined to go after the things I want in life, and my own business is definitely something I am excited to start.

Another vision that has caught fire in my heart is my long time dream of developing and running an urban art street ministry. I have had this dream for several years. I have dreamt of creating a place of refuge for the lost and forgotten. A place for lower socioeconomic youth and young adults to come as they are and leave filled up with a new passion for life. I have been blessed with the honor of having a boyfriend who is just as passionate as I am about loving people. Kasey understands it. He gets the vision and the dream, and has the leadership qualities to accomplish it. I couldn't be more excited to partner with the most breath-taking person I know. We are starting small and working our way, slowly, to our goal. Kasey and I have started saving money, we meet up and work on programming and our mission and vision. I know the hard work, late nights and dedication that it will take to make our dreams a reality, but I am as ready as I'll ever be.

There are so many areas in my life that I am excited to see develop into something beautiful. 

Here is my thoughts for 2014... 

I am excited to deepen my relationship with God and I am ready to build deeper relationships with those around me. 2014, I will fight every battle that arises. I will seek out the areas in my life that I want to improve and actually do something about them. My desire is to learn to love Kasey in a greater way, as we continue to build a dynamic friendship. I will spend time with family, try new foods, go to new places, make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, become a more equipped youth leader, friend, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, girlfriend and aunt. This year, 2014, will be a year of new beginnings and new milestones. Cheers to a brilliant and happy NEW YEAR! 

I give everything over to You Lord

We Celebrate.

 

I had an eventful weekend celebrating the beautiful life of my cousin, Ashley! I joined her by bringing in her 21st birthday with coffee, sushi, late night walk on the Santa Monica Pier, music, 9 people in one hotel room and watching street dancers. But most of all, for me, it was the good conversations, heart-felt honesty, and ability to feel comfortable enough to share our struggles while encouraging each other to keep fighting through this life! Our creativity and need for art and culture is always heightened when we are together. Ash told me this quote when I was visiting her in California, "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." Every time I am around Ashley, we talk about ideas for the future and plans of how we can partner together in ministry and life. Ashley, you have a beautiful soul. Never forget that you are called to do great things. Don't let anyone stand in your way of achieving your goals and being ALL you can be. 

You are adored and loved, more than you know. 

Your cousin... and forever friend. 

I give everything over to You Lord

I call her "Q"

When I see or meet people, I observe a lot about them. I try to learn their body language, their sayings, their humor, their interests and their likes and dislikes. But most of all, I try to learn about their heart and the natural way that God has designed them. Once you sift through the insecurities, break down walls and build trust, you usually start to see the essence of who somebody is.

The friendships and the people that God has allowed to enter my life are always beautifully orchestrated. He mends and connects people with me in the most unlikely ways. He never seizes to amaze me! He has taught me a lot about friendships and pursuing people. Some of the main concepts God has taught me through building relationships is, people take time, pouring into people can be exhausting but it is always overshadowed by the beautiful blessings it brings, and "change" is not the prerequisite for an authentic friendship or for unconditional love.

Consistent with the way my friendships have gone, I have been able to build a solid friendship the sweet and "swag-a-lishous," Quincie, but it has been a long process with lots of building blocks!  For years now, Q and I have been building on our friendship and it has been slow but steady. We started off our friendship connecting on so many levels. We gladly found out that we both had a passion for dance, art/graffiti, fashion, humor and we have walked through very similar struggles. Through all of the ups and downs in life, I am so blessed to say I have been able to pray and stand with Q during the great seasons and during the tough seasons. I have spent hours praying, cried many tears, sought advice from people I love and respect, all for the goal of being the most equip friend I could be for Quincie. But most of all, I have fought to keep love at the center of our friendship.

To me, Quincie is not like the average girl. She has this undeniable light that radiates from her. When she enters a room heads turn. She is influential and stands with a confidence that most girls her age don't have. She has a heart of gold and she bubbles over with inspiration and passion. Some people dream of having incredible talents, but for Q, it comes natural. She is artistic and creative. She is strong-willed and easy-going. She is a product of the hip-hop culture. She won't eat chocolate ice cream. Her smile is priceless. Her braids are always fresh. When I look at Quincie, I see a brilliant future marked out ahead of her. A future that is filled with great accomplishments and the realization that her life is a gift from God and everything He has poured into her will be used to glorify Him. She won't let people in easily, but she still loves people deeply. I have had to stand outside the door of her heart until she willingly opened the door to let me in. Sometimes she only cracked the door open, but even that has meant the world to me.

Quincie recently text me. We talked for a little and I instantly knew something was up. Then, I got a text that melted my heart. It made all the years I have been desperate to understand her, absolutely worth it. The text read, "I could really use my sister right now." I have always viewed Q as my little sister and even if she doesn't like it, she will always be my little sister! (Sorry not sorry Q!) There was just something so different when I read that text this time.

It has reminded me that people are important and friendships, while they may take years to develop, are a beautiful example of the unconditional love that God pours out on us each day. So Quincie, I will be here for you, for forever. I will applaud you when you achieve your dreams and I will walk with you when you hit a speed bump and need some assistance. I am so thrilled that I get to have a front row seat to the beautiful life you are living. (Even though it doesn't always feel beautiful) Thank you for blessing me with your hugs, your dance moves, your jokes, your style, your passions and your willingness to share your life with me. I am blessed more today because of you. Thank you Q-Bird. I love you.


I give everything over to You Lord