Talk About It

Depending on how your friends and romantic relationships have gone throughout your life will typically influence how you believe your future relationships will go. If you have had a lot of positive relationships in your life you may be more pron to think of words such as: Trust, Love, Faithfulness, Care, Honesty and vulnerability. Although, if you've been wounded badly you may lean more towards words such as: Hurt, brokenhearted, pain, mistrust, guarded and lies. Let's face it - We've all been hurt & we'll all get hurt again. So where is the happy middle ground of trusting someone and opening yourself up to them, and not being so trusting that you get hurt unnecessarily in the end. God talks about this issue, which means it is important to Him. Enough to give us Godly advice and council on how to conduct ourselves. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Isn't that so good?! God cautions us to protect our hearts because they are a valuable entity. Your heart is valuable! I believe that if you are being aware to the condition of your heart, you'll be able to tell if you are guarding your heart out of obedience to God or to simply stonewall anyone from being let into your world. There is a difference, one is beneficial and produces a healthy life, while the other option is a destructive way of protecting yourself and in other words it really say's, "I'm scared to get hurt again."

I have to catch myself, still to this day, to not shut down or close off when I get hurt or I'm feeling like someone is being insensitive. If you are struggling with this balance of trust and letting someone in, especially romantically, it will most likely be a forever battle. Non of us want to get hurt so we all have to fight the urge to be defensive, push those who are close to us away or "give up" on people. I do know one thing for sure though. Spending more time with God allows you to trust someone fully, with no body guards necessary to protect you and your heart. You can be fully safe in Gods hands, fully trusting in His care, fully vulnerable and open with no reservations.

Psalms 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."


I give everything over to You Lord

Upside to Downtown

I give everything to You Lord

Virtuous

Virtuous: {Having or showing high moral standards.}

I've been thinking about how God uses tangible experiences to teach us Spiritual lessons. Some days I feel like life can weigh me down, drowning me in "stuff". But it's those days that remind me how important God finds our attitudes and our responds to life. {Our responses to the good & the bad} If we are ambassadors of Christ, and the ones pointing people back to the One and Only God, shouldn't we be more careful with our responses? I have needed this reminder. The reminder to respond out of God's love for me, and His faithfulness in protecting me. Some people think it's the big things that matter when you are a Christian. Such as, showing up to church EVERY Sunday morning, participating in all church functions, passing out Bibles or feeding the homeless. While those all may be beneficial qualities and events to participate in, I have found that our true character comes out when we least expect it. When we don't prepare for it. When the day is busy and your stressed out about who knows what! It's the attitudes you give the grocery cashiers or bank tellers. Taking time out of your day to give someone a complement, even if your day isn't going exactly how you planned it. I believe the best way to go where God has you, on any given day, is to be led by the Spirit. If you really look for the gold in situations, you will more than likely be able to see how great our God is. You will be able to better relate to God and understand who He is. He is FANTASTIC! These are {some} of my latest thoughts that I've been processing and wanted to get them out. I challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to respond out of Gods goodness not out of your weakness.

I give everything over to You Lord

Being Cautious

Season 1 Episode 3 "Cautious"

{And this part of my life I call Workin' It Out}

Recently I have been feeling drawn to seek wise council about unanswered questions in order to be cautious about the direction I am heading. I have been talking to those who know me best and really trying to hear God's voice through their advice and guidance. I don't want to get to a state where I am so cautious that I can't enjoy the blessings God has placed in front of me. Instead finding a balance of Godly council and actually living out my walk with God, trusting that He will guide my path as I follow after Him. My desire is to please God and bring honor to Him through my life.

I want to do things right. Relationally, friendships, education, ministry and family. I have noticed myself being more guarded lately, in order to avoid any hurt. Although, mentally I know that is a destructive way of living and thinking, I have been fighting against the trap of shutting people out. I want to be vulnerable because I know how much benefit it is to have honest people living life. Even if it is a little messy at times, honesty is appreciated by God which means I am learning daily how to appreciate it in the same way as He does.

I have been feeling this desire to break through the dark cloud that has been following me for quite some time. I don't want any fear based relationships or hidden secrets. I want an honest jab at a healthy, flourishing, productive and stable relationship. Something that has always been a desire of mine. So as I work through my journey of asking questions and seeking out answers, as well as forming God honoring relationships with people, I will do the things that can not fail me. I will still keep falling madly in love with my God. I will still live each day with a passion to pursue God. I will still bow my knees in prayer. I will read the Bible with an open heart. I will lead by example and walk by faith. I will keep pouring into the lives that God has allowed me to, while still staying humble enough to be poured into and molded as well. I love my God, I am thankful for my life. I worship a Mighty King!

I give everything over to You Lord

I'm Blessed

You know the questions that flood your mind when trying to decide if you are heading in the right direction? Making the right decisions? Following God's will for your life? I am at a place where questions seem to be a common thing throughout my day. I have such a strong desire to walk out God's plan for my life, I want to serve and love God to the best of my ability. Although, I feel like when you learn things about life or walk through trials, you tip-toe into the next situations of your life because of what you have learned. Wanting to be more cautious but still have fun has been a hard middle ground for me to find. This weird phase has been taking place only recently, within the past week.

If I am completely transparent I am really scared. Scared of getting hurt again, scared of opening up and being rejected and scared of being vulnerable and God changing the course of my life. I have never been 100% certain of where God wants me to be in the future. Not even directionally where He wants me to somewhat be doing. I have no clue, and this is the first time that not knowing what God has in store for me isn't scary. All I know is that I am willing to leave and willing to do what it takes to serve God unconditionally and without barriers. I am more scared relationally. Afraid to put myself out on a limb to not be accepted or appreciated in return. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect things out of my friendships, I don't go into relationships trying to figure out what's in it for me.

I want to be honest about this situation I am walking out right now because I want the things that God is willing to teach me, to help others. I know that "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." According to 1 John 4:18. I know that you are always going to be hurt, no matter what kind of relationship you enter into. & even though I know these things mentally, my Spirit has wounds that are still healing. Come to find out! So I am taking this process slow, trying to understand everything God is wanting me to learn and praying! Lot's of PRAYER!

I am anxious in a lot of area's of my life. Wanting to move on to the new stage God has for me. I am slowly finishing up with school and it is becoming more real to me that I have literally almost finished my college education. It is an exhilarating feeling. I want to be patient while God is preparing the man I will marry, but it is hard sometimes to have a desire for something great, but never see any signs that says I will have it one day. Maybe I am not ready? Maybe I think I can handle more, but God knows better? Maybe I need to stop asking questions and trust that God does know better and has never failed me. These questions got my head spinning.

Through all the stuff I am learning and trying to understand, I know that reading my Bible, praying without hinderances and talking to wise Godly people will help everything to work out for the good. God will honor obedience, faith, trust and a heart that is following after Him. I know He will work things out, even if I still have 100 questions! He is just that faithful and He is really that amazing.

I give everything over to You Lord