I will never stop trying!!

I asked a girl I work with if she would come with me to church...
She smiled and was a little unsure but said yes. She asked me so many questions while we finished working together. She said, Sheena if I do drugs can i come to church? Will they let me in? She said, i also live with my boyfriend and cuss a lot, can I still come? I said Yes Jessica! You are still aloud, you're aloud no matter what. So, we planned our day, after church we were going to grab lunch and go get our nails done.... Well, Sunday rolled around and, Jessica text me an hour before i was suppoed to get her and she said, Sheena i feel so bad, i spent the night with my mom and she lives in Sun city, maybe another Sunday. Of course i was a little bummed, but i told myself that i wont give up, i will keep on asking until she finally comes one time. I wont let the devil win her over.
God protect Jessica, make sure she knows shes loved by You.
I will try my best to show her your grace and care Lord.

Coffee Shop Thinking

Working so early can some times take a toll on you. Not only because I arrive at work at 5:30 in the morning, but because when everything is quiet and no one is around, you have time to hear yourself think. I sit in the back on our Coffee Plantation computer as my manager lays down on the couches in the front because of her late night partying that she did and i think about life a little. I think about how i have effected people negatively, how I've pushed someones feelings aside for what i wanted, i feel bad when it's so quiet. I feel bad that I'm so selfish. I realize how much school has taught me, how people don't care about hardly anything. I sat next to two young men as the talked about drugs, they swapped phone numbers so that they can buy off of each other, it's so sad, it's so unpleasing to the Lord.
Life tears at you sometimes. It's hard.
KEEP GOING WHEN NOTHING IS LEFT.

School is here!

WOW, I sit here in the computer room at SCC writing about my first day.
It's new, it's exciting, it's scary, but it's awesome! I feel like the new part of my journey called life is beginning and I’m decently prepared! I had my computer class first, as I walked in, I noticed at first glance someone who I had taken sign language with a couple years back here at SCC. A familiar face I thought! Awww, today was going to be a good day. (Aside from the fact that I actually found a parking spot in the front row close to my classes!) I finished my first class without a problem, I admit I was slightly overwhelmed with the craziness of it all, but I stayed composed! Since I didn't have my English class today I have had a long break in between classes, and I have really got to take in everything around me. My new school, my new environment. It's going to be great to see what the Lord as planned for my life. I know he's watching over me, I just need to remember that I have to rely on Him for my strength and security.
Now, I am off to my math class. It starts at 1:30 and I don't think I should be late! I can't wait to see what other things I will experience in my time at SCC.
God is good-

Life's little Blessings

So, i started a new job! Coffee Plantation. At first i thought, hey this is going to be so fun, and don't get me wrong i enjoy it a great deal. But i have to say, it is quite an eye opener realizing how many young people are lost. I have been placed in situations where I have had the chance to share God with some of my coffee house buddies, and i have taken chances and really tried my best to show God's love to people. Surprizingly enough, i think they actually notice something different about me, they can see something in me and i know they would be so much happier if they had it, the Lord. I know it's not only because i don't say the "F" word every five seconds, or even the fact that i don't go out and party, but it's the way i care for them, i think they are slightly fulfilled with it. I was blessed recently when i man in his late 40's walked in and asked if Eric, one of the guys i work with, if he had come back from his recent trip to Spain. I smiled and said, "Yeah, he's back and he said he really enjoyed his time there." The man replied also with a smile and said, "Oh great! I had been talking to him about pictures and what not." I added, "Oh, are you a photography?" After some small talk back and forth, i dicovered he was a photography and just had gotten back from vactiioning all around. He went to his car and grabbed some blown up pictures that he had taken, and they seriously took my breathe away. They were beautiful!
I have learned allot working in a non Christian place, and i think God has big planes for me. I can't wait to see what's instore next!!

In Thought

Take a picture, show this world what you see.
Never stop smiling and never not believe.
Take your breathe away and spend time
Looking at the view.
Take a picture of that, a couple or a few
See, you never knew what you saw because
You looked passed it all.
Don't worry the framed pictures stand so
Tall.
Now the memories will last when we fall
Good or Bad, Cute of Not
The Love He has wont ever
Stop.

His World

Washington... Is a beautiful beautiful Place...

Cold and Rainy. But very nice for a change.

I love seeing new places! And... I love learning new things!

While you're here

A little yellow dress means you want to be noticed
And a white skirt let's you flirt

A red silk dress means you are ready to impress
And set of black heals means you have everything to reveal

A polka dot shirt means you are ready to dance
And a pair of purple glasses means your ready to take a chance

A pinned up hair-do means you're ready for the day
And a pair of flip flops means you can run in the rain

A knee length pair of plaid shorts means you're carefree and fun
And a silver diamond ring means there can only be one

A gold strand of necklesses means your daring
And a green pair of earing's means you're more then caring

A backless black shirt means you're not ashamed
And a white summer dress means you'll never be tamed


~Simply on my mind

Power Of Reflection

Cousin Love

My cousins who are out in Arizona for 2 and 1/2 weeks!
I love them.

Lyrics

Say goodnight and go.

Skipping beats,
Blushing cheeks.
I am... struggling..
Daydreaming,
Bed scenes in... the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic... tremblings
You get me every time.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

Follow you home,
You've got your headphones on
And you're dancing
Got lucky;
Beautiful shot:
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains wide open
And you're following the same routine;
Flicking through the TV, relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone..

Oh, why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you,
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

One of these days,
You'll miss your train,
And come stay with me...
{It's always say goodnight and go}
We'll have drinks,
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you...
You'd sleep here,
I'd sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience...
We'd be good,
We'd be great together...

Go (sigh)
{Instrumental pause}

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you,
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

Why's it always always:
goodnight and go?
Oh, Darling not again,
Goodnight and... go...

I'm Sorry

"It burns to know all i can do is wish you well."

For every night you made me laugh so hard i cried
for everyday you text me to make sure I'm doing just fine

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

For every promise i broke
and.. to the ones you've kept

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

For the the seamless cold reasons
for the reason yet to be understood

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

For the times i wouldn't tell you how i felt
for the times you somehow got it out

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

For the times i forgot to keep you accountable
for the times you never let me forget

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

For the hurt i caused the people that care about you
for the hurt i caused you personally

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

For the times you called to make sure i was home safe
for the times i didn't want to leave you

I'm to blame for crushing your heart.

I'm to blame for crushing our world.

You're the most forgiving person

Mommy's Hospital Stay

My mom was going to the hospital to have her Kidney stone sound blasted and come home the same day to recover.

God... had very different plans for her.
See now, you don't understand the work and care my mom puts into life, it is literally ridiculous. She is one of the hardest working people i have been in contact with. I feel like i wont ever measure up to the standard she has set as a loving mom. She's Amazing. Now with the hard working hands and continuous running mind comes stress, an over abundant of stress. Mommy Sonja is willing to do anything to please people and make people happy, but more then half the time she forgets about herself.

... So, as i went back to the Hospital at around 5:10pm to pick my mom with our family/friend Tunda and Tucker Tagging alone to help me after her supposed Kidney sound blast i walk to the front desk of the hospital and ask where my mom is located and where i can pick her up. She said to me that she had not yet gone in, confused for a moment we all figured that it was just a busy day and the doctor was full with patients. Ridding the Elevator up we headed down the long hallway and asked the person on that floor where my mom was. She told me that she would find out what's going on. Out coming around the corner comes a nurse and says to us with a worried voice, "Sonja isn't going to do the Kidney sound blast because of high blood pressure, we are unable to finish it and we are actually quite worried. Let me take you in to see her."

Through two doors we walked and around the corner i saw my Mommy laying in bed...





I wont say that i was worried because that wasn't my first reaction, But i did want my mom to say that she was okay.

After seeing her blood pressure was up around 202/98 i started to realize the concern, but they gave her medicine to lower it and it was slowly going back to normal.
After making sure things were okay they moved her to a personal room where they continuously check her heart.






They said she had to spend the night and only one could stay. So my sister was going to and i was going to go home to an empty house because of the business trip my dad was on. Instead my brother and sister-in-law said they would sleep on one little chair together, so my sister and i both went home to sleep and go back to the hospital the next morning.
Mommy Sonja slept a little through the night and when my sister and i returned to the hospital around 9:00 my mom was gone taking tests and returned to her room at 1:45 or so. She finally got to eat after a long two days of Hospital time.






So, the doctors haven't figured out anything, but they let her go and gave her blood pressure pills. We just are living by prayer day to day. She's doing better.

Thanks for the needed support every family members and friend gave, My sisters and my brother and i really are thankful for each of your prayers and care.















They let mommy Sonja come home...










Although the Cafeteria food wasn't always the greatest, we all knew how much my mom had given for us that we couldn't complain one bit.

Mommy and Girls

The Three Starks Girls!

Verses...

Proverbs 24:3-4
3 "By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is
Established;
4 though knowledge its rooms are filled
with a rare and beautiful treasures.


One of my favorite Verses is-
Proverbs 24:26
26 "An honest answer
is like a kiss on the lips"

Graduation!

Graduation day!!!!!

I'm, excited, scared, nervous, worried, undeserving, and at peace all at the same time.... I'm still in shock to think i actually made it but then i realize who was helping me... It's ALL because of Him!

God shown through them...

I'm Blessed beyond words by my friends in my life that love me unconditionally. They, are truly Godly examples, and i need to learn from them.

Princess For a day?

"Sheena Starks?" "Hi I'll be assisting you today...."
As i walked down the hall lined with numbers next to the door the lady in an all white uniform said to me, "I'll make your stay as enjoyable as possible....."

Today, for a graduation gift, i got to go to the Princess Hotel and get a massage, facial, and manicure with two of my girl friends. It was a graduation gift from my friends mom, and i actually, for the first time started realizing something...

Princesses shouldn't just be in fairy tails, and i know that may sound really cheesy, but the service my friends and i received was some what of how woman should be treated by their Husbands. It was honestly amazing. So amazing that when i first laid down to get my massage, i couldn't relax, not that i was uncomfortable, but i almost felt guilty for letting someone rube my back. Sounds a bit ridiculous?? It's true, i don't know what it would feel like if a guy took this much effort, time, patients, care, love, grace, and compassion to help me grow in the Lord and care for me emotionally. As i laid there still, she continued to finish up and then set my rob next to me, left the room, and then directed me to the womans lobby. There i met back with a my friends and then we tried everything we could!! The steam room, a room that smelled really good, the indoor hot tub, the outdoor pool, lunch, facials, manicures, and relaxation. I tell you, i have never been so pampered by people in my life. I want that from a "boyfriend"- (Future Husband) i want him to care for me like that. Not actually giving me facials, manicures, and massages, but care in a way that says you are the most important person and i am hear to cater to you and your needs and i want to please you and do what i can to make you feel more comfortable. I don't mean that to sounds selfish, because i will be more then willing to care for my husband in that way, but i don't want to settle for someone who is mediocre, because i know for a fact God wouldn't want me too. Plus, a big reason why this is getting all stirred up in my life is because of a book I'm reading called, Captivating. (Basically a book of understanding the heart and mind of a woman) That is one of the main reasons why i thought so much about everything today.
Then my sweet brother text the cutest thing when was sitting down for lunch, he said, "Do you feel like a princess, princess?" And in that one moment, i really did feel like a princess!

Graduation For Big Brother

This is a tribute to the hard work my brother has put into working his way through college!!
He has struggled a lot growing up, trying to work his way through his earlier years with my mom and now working all the way through to graduate with his bachelors! I'm so happy for you Ror! It was nice to see you made with a smiling face, i love you!

-Little sister to big brother!

Today In Church

Today in church something finally clicked in my head. The paster of Scottsdale Bible Church was teaching at Citi church and he had been talking about relationships. He said that God is mercifully, forgiving, caring, loving and everything else right? Well, what if you were locked in a room alone with no one there? Will those attributes of God be shown? No, that's why God put relationships in our life because when there is tension and conflict we are able to show love and forgiveness and care for one another. I think this touched me so much because i always questioned GOD, "WHY", why does there have to be hurt and pain and conflict and everything else in my life with friends and family and strangers, and for the first time i have realized that if there wasn't how could we demonstrate what God has so perfectly magnified on each of us. He works in the most amazing ways, i am thankful that i was able to hear that message i truly needed a little wake up call.

Boy's will be Boy's

The "Boys!"

Still Friends!

I Pray i wont ever lose these 3 friends. They are all so amazing!

Myspace Ministy?

I had recently found a girl on Myspace crying out for help.
She had pictures blown up of her with cuts all over her arms, and I'm not talking paper cuts, but full on gashes. I found her while searching people on Myspace with one of my best friends. After seeing her i cried because of the pain i saw in her. I have thought allot about her, and prayed for he too. And i decided, why not take the opportunity to share God with her, what do i have to lose right?? Well i did, i got up the strength and wrote to her about God and what i had thought about everything on her Myspace page. And, she wrote back, not exactly what i was expecting but, at least i know she read what i had to say. She told me how she was fine and she's just a big hippie and she loves life and nothing's going wrong. But, i insisted to her that she wasn't Okay and she wont be Okay if she doesn't start realizing her need for the Lord.
I haven't heard back, which to me is a disappointment. After some more thought and some encouragement from my good friends, i have peace knowing if she ever did have a question about God or changing her life, i will be there. Also, i have great peace knowing that if i only left a mark by her thinking i was a crazy Christine girl, i made a mark somehow and to me, that's better than not trying.

Old Friends Still Friends

:) I smile every time i see these pictures! We've all grown up since then!