"Just Gonna Stand There And Watch Me Burn..."

I have a need to express myself through art. 

Music.

Dance.

Painting.

Drawing.

Writing.

Poetry. 

Clothes.

Photography.

It's kind of like the old expression, "An itch you can't scratch." It won't go away, I've got a passion that is lit by fire. It can't be contained. God is so good to place these ambiguous ideas in my thoughts, and although they scare me, they drive me to embark on a journey few travel. 

I've been deeply affected by the stories I've heard about abuse, from friends young and old, and while I've never experienced it personally it's like I've felt the wounds people have obtained from merely hearing their stories. Physical, emotional, mental. Whatever the type of abuse, weather it be one day or a life time of abuse all is unacceptable and all is intolerable. I have cried nights from stories people have told me, it saddens me and know one hundred percent that it breaks the heart of God. 

About 3 or 4 weeks ago a God given idea popped in my head and thoughts raced to questions such as, "How?! What?! Where?! When?!" I feel prompted to plan and organize a production/charity to raise money for people who was and are being abused. So, I'm starting completely from scratch and hoping my ideas and inspirations somehow ignite in the hearts of others and cause this event to explode the city or Scottsdale, Phoenix, Glendale, Peoria, Surprise, Tempe, Chandler and any others. 

I've started on the fliers. Got the color schemes. Know the people who will be assisting me in the performances. I have the title. I know the general time frame for the production to be exposed to the public. I know this is going to be time consuming and a very large job to chew. But I know my God is bigger then me. I know my God put a passion for people inside of me. I know God would have a front row seat to this event if He were to be walking on earth. I know God has my back in the many endeavors I take up. I know God is my biggest fan and the best support group around. My God is a big God that's totally by my side. 

I will do this production, not under my jurisdictions or talents or capabilities or any one else's, but this production will be beautiful because God's hand is upon it, God's blessing is breathing within it, and I know He fights for those who can't fight back. Abuse is, once again, unacceptable and all is intolerable. 

I give everything over to You Lord 

Very Precious...

Quality time with the family is quite the amazing experience when your experiencing it with us!

A few snap shots of our tight nit family. I am so blessed knowing each and everyone of my family members, it's such a blessing. I can't express it enough. I adore our family dinners were we can be ourselves, eat home cooked food, laugh, and just BE. I am Thankful! 

I give everything over to You Lord

It's Official

I give everything over to You Lord

11 Minutes Remaining

Adventures lead the trail of thrill

Glancing back with nothing left to spill

We transform as the journey gets more exciting

Because with every step we are closer to new lighting

Tic tock time runs out

Waiting for the moment when our lungs have nothing left to shout

Brilliant you see, the beauty of this beginning

Cut, release, remove our current sitting

Drill through the walls of unseen desires

Let them run free, let them catch fire

Every shirt packed in this small beat up bag

Car in drive leaving everything I had

Adventure, adventure you're all that's left

Only reminisce of you are still to breathe through my chest

I give everything over to You Lord 

California Shower

 I've spent a lovely few days in California this weekend being able to cherish our new addition to the family. 

Abigail Love Larson

I'm always reminded of how blessed I am to have such a close family, these are a few of the pictures from the baby shower. 

Thrilled I got to come and join my cousin Danielle in her new life as she transfers into 

mommy-hood! 

I give everything over to You Lord

Love Is

Moving is such an. . . interesting time for most people. Our temporary living spaces can be bought, sold, destroyed, rebuilt, and restored. Even though our houses are made out of a good foundation, wood, some plaster, and the final touches which make a house sellable, they hold such important, significant, impacting memories that often will tie families to their homes. 

I've been blessed to stay friends with a few family I grew up with, one family being the Reynolds. The family consists of Leah Reynolds, the beautiful mom, the oldest Grant, Tucker, Hayley, and the youngest being Caleb. The heart of this sweet mother Leah is inspiring at least. The life she has been through makes it surprising to see such a vivarent smile on her face each time I see her. Although, she knows she serves a Great Big God which makes her smile come a bit more natural. Today I helped the family make the big moving trip to their new place. Now, the circumstances in which their moving is quite unfortunate but necessary. Going through the closets filled with clothes, sorting through picture frames, dress up outfits, kitchen appliances, and the junk drawers you wish didn't have junk in them when you finally decided to move! 

Talking to each of Leah's kids, the over riding consensus was the memories they have been able to build over the years. Some bad, but many good memories! The tears that Leah cried because of the emotions of moving and her personal family situations made everyones tiredness almost vanish. We all worked extra hard to lift the burden off this one sweet women who has been left to care for 4 kids, a house, moving the house, finding a new home, supporting the family, and the always important breathing, showering, cooking, cleaning, loving and living. I applaud the tremendous efforts Leah has done with trying to keep her family from falling apart, her strength is over abundant. 

Needless to say, after 11 hours of moving and the up and down trips of the three flights of stairs in our beautiful Arizona 110 whether, I lay in bed and just think. All the new memories that will be formed by the family and the house I believe will be an important part of healing, recovery, finding hope, and maybe seeing a brighter and relieving future. Moving is an interest thing.

I give everything over to You Lord

Trying to Find Her Way Above The Tree Tops

My life has been full of learning lessons. Daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. These lessons/blessings come through people, myself, consequences, tragedy, and the absences of people. I throughly believe that God grows us the most when we're in uncomfortable positions. When we, as humans, need something bigger to rely on than our finite minds.  Ta da! GOD! 

My Oma (Grandma in dutch) is a marvelous women. Oh if you heard her voice you'd never be able to scratch it from your memory. Her darling soft hair that she always combed just so, and often asked me why she had a cow-lick in her hair! I thanked her for mine! Besides her adorable smile and sweet words to her kids, grandkids and even great grandkids, Oma has cooking as a trademark!  The aromas alone almost satisfied your hunger, it is THAT good! If you emptied your plate you'd be sure to hear her say, "No! Eat more! Get more food!" Besides her hands being so soft to the touch they are quick on the keys. The piano she plays is beautiful, igniting, and eloquent. From such a petite women it was incredible to see such grandiose masterpiece flow through her fingers. She always admired how my cousins Danielle and Ashley, my sister Rachel and myself could stretch our fingers a whole octave! Her joy and love for her family, husband, food, cooking, culture, dancing, making her home welcoming, and music are just a few things that make up this lovely darling I am privileged to call Oma. Margaretha Irene Bergler, my Oma, got to meet our sweet Savior June 3rd, 2010. I haven't cried so many tears in my life, I miss everything about her. I often still feel like I'll see her if I go to California. I know that it's the Lords chance to spend quality time with her now, but the whole in my heart throbs in the loss of my wonderful Oma. 

Oh the blessings that I've seen through tragedy, although hard, have simply reminded me of the short time we have on earth. I've seen the importance of family, the desperate need for God in our world, and the effects of hopelessness. 

I give everything over to You Lord