SEKAF

FAKES. I couldn't tell you the pain the irks under my pail skin. The one caused by flesh itself. I am anxious in my own bed. Toss and turn, grow and learn, right? GOD. Who do I trust, when You know, there is no one trustworthy in this life? Who do I share my life with, other than the four walls that make up my room? Who will feel that weight of my tears, as my pillow has for years? I no longer need that "man" they call "dad." No! I'm growing out of his chains of captivity. I am set free. Please, understand, that I still have the blood dripping, tear jerking, heart breaking feelings, scares, wounds, scabs, bruises, and cuts that we're cause by this man... boy. Oh my pain lives on. Once again, please understand, I am not shedding light on my life, so that I can have your concern, nor am I giving into a pity party of depression. This is just the reality of my life, and it's where I stand. Don't get me wrong. I STAND TALL. So this late afternoon, I was at my breaking point, I lost it. So, out flew curse words against hurtful men in my life, my tears overflowed my eyes, and my voice escalated to yelling. I was very upset. I still am very upset. I almost feel hatred in my heart. I promised myself, and I actually never thought I would feel hatred toward someone. Than again, I probably didn't know them back than. Fakes. Yes, the title fits them well. Fakes. Wow. Funny how life... life... Ah... I don't even know anymore. . . I want to push everyone who is close to me, away. I want to hold up a shield of protection, and tape the enemies mouth shut. I'd like to throw out the average, "I'm over it," but I don't want the Fake title smacked on my head. No thank you. They have done a fine job of obtaining the title. 

I give everything over to you Lord