Making My Way Through The Crowd

I often take on peoples burdens as my own. To an extent I don't think that's a horrible thing, because I can feel what they feel, help where a hand is needed, and care for their problems. I think where they problem comes is when I am letting others situations rule my life. Paralyzed in a completely movable body. So there has been a few burdens I have taken on, not because I'm forced to, but because I truly care. I have found that each situation is determined by them and how their feeling. Happy, sad, excited, upset, effected, fine, okay. I have been trying to have a good time, smiling as much as possible, laughing more then usual, but not so fast. I feel as if I'm dragged into the problems that feel unsolvable. Help. I can't run away and not hang out with them, for goodness sakes, they live at my house. So what then? I know I should be daily and hourly giving these peoples problems to God, but I feel like I don't even know where to start. I sat on the couch while a thousand hurtful tears feel from her face, each one telling a story. Dare I say, this isn't fair. I can hardly worry about my hearts condition when I am stuck in the swamp of other's... life. I care, don't get me wrong. I am simply expressing my struggle, and let me be honest. THIS IS A STRUGGLE. I suppose I should continue giving this to God, but I can't help but think my Christmas might just be... Okay. My new years? Should be good, but will it? I want out of this, but at the same time, they keep letting me in. I care, please, once again, don't think for a second I don't have love for these two. You could probably say that the reason why it hurts so much and why I'm so burdened is because I do care so much and I do love them so much. I don't want this situation to be "Fixed" but I want it to be healed, restored, renewed, and possibly continued. Oh God. This is for You, because I don't know how much more my weak heart can take. I don't want to cry. But they're making it so hard to smile. I am happy. I know I am. 

I give everything over to You Lord