Out Of My Hands

So, I had my 5 year plan charted and ready to be lived out. But I set myself up for a perfect collision of Gods plan. So I set my heart on the goal of completing my degree in Graphic Design. I scheduled an appointment with the ASU advisor and went in knowing full well what my plans were. Obviously I was to confident but lacked the knowledge of what was actually ahead of me. "Hi, I'm Barbara!" "Nice to meet you, I'm Sheena!" "Awesome, well come on back and we'll start talking." So I gave her a brief run down of my "5 year plan" and was quickly stopped in my tracks when I heard the logistics that applied to my dreams. Things I had dreamt almost into reality. She smiled as if I was planning my whimsical dreams in another planet. Barbara, sweet old women, broke the news to me that the Graphic Design program at ASU is a very hard program to get into and few actually go on to the professional level. It is a 4 year program even though I have already spent 2 years at SCC, it doesn't matter. So after the first year, there is a milestone test and check up on everything you've done, that's when they decide if they want you to move forward to complete your other 3 years, or to drop you on the curb. She said, "I don't know if it's worth spending a year trying so hard, when the result can end in waisted time." I agreed, I know there is a lot of talented artist who would succeed far beyond what I could accomplish. I am not having a pity party, I just know that there is something different for me. I sat through the rest of the meeting almost on the verge of tears the whole time. My 5 year plan and my every dream had suddenly wilted within 5 minutes of time. I was slightly disappointed, mainly discouraged, and extremely sad. Now, the flip side is to continue on my path of trying to get my degree in Graphic Design and see where it leads me. But, to be honest, the dream has died and I think there is something different for me. More suitable and more manageable. So, Barbara and I began looking at different options that would suit my desires. Working with computers, something having to do with art, and being able to work with audio things as well as the visual. Out of nowhere she asked if I like writing. I was taken back and didn't answer right at first, but as I thought about it for a minute my face lit up and I responded by saying, "Yes, actually I do!" She found this degree that's a "Multimedia writing and technology program." I read over the description and it actually sounded very interesting and it also incorporated everything I wanted to work with, exactly. So, I will be meeting with her again on Wednesday to discus about transferring. I'm scared because it's going to be a new school. Not the ASU Tempe campus, but actually the campus in Mesa. I am so very nervous and feeling challenged and unsure, just about everything. God has a different road that I have yet to dream up, and I'm willing to walk it out because I know the support I have walking with me. I am so scared. I am so scared. I am so scared. 

I give everything over to You Lord