Thursday, October 22, 2009

Love will come find you

I drench my eyes with what the world determines and titles perfect. I wash my eyes with the burning sent of perfume. And I'd get down on both knees and ask politely if I knew I would finally capture the eyes of myself. If I live through this, I promise I won't look back. It's crazy to stand tall when you feel like your missing out on life. I'm a speck in a state. Something so small, yet, I was told that I could take on the world if he'd allow me. I wonder. If this life is fake dream and I've just been living it for to long. I really do question  now. 

I give everything over to You Lord

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Everything Is After The Fact

I finally found it. The song that inspired me to write again. 11:48 pm. I'm captured once again to write and to spill my guts. To release and to find. To know how to clear my mind. The things, the thoughts, the place and people, I have been holding them in when I knew all along the only thing that would help was the sound of my computer keys following my every touch.  I've shattered my knowledge that led me to believe I knew the depth and greatness of my God. I run away from the thought of judging people because the person my mirror reflects has a lot to work on herself. I feel so busy, as always, but I fill every empty minute with a task because I don't really want to hear my own thoughts. I can't face how I've been doing. I don't want to find out. Probably a scary thought. But I haven't been letting myself think about it much. I have been pulling and poking at every aspect in my life. I have so much to get out, I really shouldn't have waited this long to write. School has been the most constant and regular friend that knocks on my door. It's finally freeing to know my grammar and miss communicated ideas and my miss spelled words don't count against me. There is no grade for my thoughts, as some might believe. I have a disguise hiding something within me, but I haven't pin pointed it. I can write a million words and it may seem like I'm insane train wreck, and I might be, but I'm writing free, just don't take it literal if you don't know the reality. 

I give everything over to You Lord