The run through of the wedding was tonight. I was worried, excited, and stressed all at the same time. It went alright, could have gone better I feel like. We'll see tomorrow I guess. I adore my family, and I know that is so the 'family' thing to say, but I seriously love them. My desire is to live here in California, closer to my family. I always feel more at home here. Lord, why is that? I may not know every California freeway route, but I know my heart feels at home here. I miss my family, their like my missing puzzle pieces. I find it odd that I am so attached to them. In a good, healthy sorta way. I don't know where I want to be right now. I need to finish school, I want to be done with that, I want to do the things I have waited to do for a long time. I am so excited to see what happens in my life, my future. I know this is probably a strange thing to think about, but in a way, I don't want the Lord to return just yet, because I feel like there is so much stuff I have yet to do. Things the Lord has gifted me with, put inside me with a passion that so on fire to succeed far beyond any failures I could ever encounter. I am scared to close my eyes for the things I will dream up. I already feel like I have no time to do the things I want to accomplish. School. That is my focus at this point in time. Remember, breathe, succeed. I am sitting in a pitch black room, both little cousins are sleeping, and I sit here wide eyed and bushy tailed. Ha. That makes me laugh. Anyway. I am tracking with the Lord, side by side, seeing what the next step to take, and I think everything is good, everything is alright! I feel like running away somewhere. One day, one night. A get away.
I give everything over to you Lord
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