What happens when I'm weak

I have reached in a point in my life, when life, is catching up to what I thought I had under control. I have this odd thing in life where it's always just me. Friends. Well. They have always come and gone. I have had some of the bestest best friends in the world, and I have lost the very people I trusted my life with. Now, I settle with the simple fact that I never leave my friends, but somehow always get left. No, this isn't a pity party, just facts. I am simple. I am alone. Alone here on earth, for now, it's a temporary place. I have never really had a problem with being single, but I have been feeling more single now than ever. Is that possible? Maybe I just crave for the very comfort of knowing that someone wants to fight for me. Damsel in distress? Hardly, I forgot to tell you, I exaggerate. But I feel at a loss, like there is this empty void, that had never been filled but for a moment. I hate writing about this. This lonely awkward out of place feeling I always happen to fall back to. I just somehow can't find the time to shake the weird feeling and bite the dust, move on with me. At the same time, through this mess, I feel so proud of myself, the things I have been accomplishing and now I feel like I have the capability to do a thousand things at once. God has stretched my talents so thin, used every ounce I have left in me, and still squeezes just a drip out more to fulfill His will. I am super happy about the things I have been completing, but I am yet to be satisfied with me. Harshly put, I am not the beauty I want to portray. I don't hold the elegance I desire, and I certainly don't reflect how I feel inside. I am different, yet I have never changed, I am beauty but have yet to be framed, I am famous but yet to have a name, I am crazy yet to be sane, I am yours but yet to be claimed. So I write another night, when I feel like my bed and pillow know me better then my friends. Better yet, the keys that my fingers touch every night know me better than most. Shame. Slightly. Hardly. I am strong. 

But what happens when I'm weak. 

I give everything to you Lord