Reaching People

Last night, I was driving home from a long planning meeting I had for the youth ministry summer camp I am helping head up. It was an extremely exhausting meeting that lasted 6 hours. I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious about how much needed to get done to pull off this huge summer camp event. I was emotionally and mentally spent. I kept repeating to myself, "Jesus, let these students encounter you. It will make these long hours worth everything. Jesus, let these students encounter you. Jesus, let these students encounter you."

On my drive home I was listening to music and singing my heart out. (This happens regularly!) I heard my phone go off. I looked down and I noticed that I had received a Facebook message from a friend of a friend. She sent me a message that read, "Hey girl!!!! Check it!!! Your story is changing lives in BC Canada!! Killer message girl! Keep doing Gods work." She also attached this photo:

 

My heart skipped a beat! 

Before receiving that message, I was questioning if all my hard work that I am putting into the ministries I am a part of, is paying off. I know it is probably not the best thing to question, but sometimes if I am not focused on the reasoning for why I do what I do, (Which is Jesus), I can start to feel discouraged. The message she sent me couldn't have come at a better time. God reminded me of this: "You do what you can do, and I'll do what only I can do!" 

I am so blessed to be a part of what God is doing. He is so incredible. He has been working behind the sense in my life, refining me, teaching me, correcting me, and continually loving me. This video and the lives it is touching is merely a byproduct of what God has done personally in my life. Having a personal relationship with Jesus shouldn't just impact your own personal life... It should undeniably impact the lives around you.

Get real with Jesus so you can experience true freedom.

I give everything over to You Lord

Breaking The Bondages Of Words

It is often times easier to identify the dysfunction and shortcomings of others. It can be more of a challenge to have an outside perspective on the areas in our own lives that we need to deal with. I want to give you some back story on why I am writing about this topic.

I have grown up living life as a true dreamer. I have always had big plans and dreams for my life, some of which I have been able to accomplish. And then there are other dreams and goals I am stirring in the eyes thinking to myself, "How will I ever accomplish this." In a perfect world, we would all love to have tons of supportive people that partner with us, through encouragement and resources, to help us achieve our goals and our life long dreams. Except, we all know that there will be people in our lives that will tell us, "We Can't," "That dream is to big," "You aren't able to do that," or whatever else those optimistic people have to say! If you can't tell already, I am writing from personal experience. I have encountered people throughout my life that told me, "I shouldn't," and "I am not qualified," to accomplish the things I feel God calling me to. Their words penetrated my heart and shook the very dreams I felt like I was called to achieve. I started to unravel at the thought that maybe what I felt like I am called to do is wrong. Or even worse, not honoring to God. My whole reason for living and my existence is to serve Jesus and I want nothing more then my life to be a walking example of that.

There has been a few specific things that I have been trying to find release and healing from. I have prayed, I have read the Word, and I have spoken with others that I love and trust. But I can still hear their words and the voices in my head. If I could be vulnerable for a minute, here are some of the things that run through my mind:

I am unqualified
I am not educated enough
I am not important
I am not pretty enough (May sound lame, but that thought is there)
I couldn't possibly be used to change the world I live in

Sad right? That I would hear these haunting voices over and over and over again, ringing in my head. But I wasn't done giving these thoughts to God. I wanted to be free. Since Jesus is so faithful to hear our hearts and knowing what we need, He opened up a very unexpected opportunity for me to continue to find healing. I had the chance to speak with one of the pastors at my church about the things that people have told me. He walked me through different steps, asking me questions, seeking answers from God, and at the end of it, I walked away surprised about the outcome. My pastor asked me this, "Who is telling you these lies." I stopped and thought about it. My responds was this... "Me." I could have given credit to the devil and blamed him for letting these thoughts creep in my mind, but he doesn't have that kind of control over my thought life. I will not give him the power to speak lies and words that destroy what God is calling me to.

I have been the one feeding the lies. Fueling them. I haven't spent enough time taking all my thoughts captive. Just because someone said something to me once doesn't mean I have to keep it on repeat for the rest of my life. Please don't misunderstand me though, I am not saying dismiss the hurt or the damage that can be caused by other peoples words. I am simply saying that in my situation, I need to stop focusing on what everyone else has said and focused on the truth. And the truth is this...  I am called.

There is a huge difference between being "qualified" and being called. In the Bible God used people that, from the outside, seemed totally unqualified. He used the young boy, David, to defeat a giant. He used a young peasant girl, Mary, to give birth to the Son of God. God used Jephthah, the son of a prostitute, to deliver the Israel from the Ammonites. Those three people alone seem the least bit equipped to tackle such honorable things in life. God wasn't looking for who was qualified, instead, it had everything to do with who He had called. I may not be called to the great things that David, Mary, and Jephthah were called to, but I do know that God is calling me to change the world in which I live. I don't know what the rest of my journey looks like, but I am learning to take my thoughts captive, to trust in Jesus, and to serve and go wherever He calls me to. Because I am called.

I give everything over to You Lord

The Story Behind My Spoken Word "Testimony"

I felt inspired to write a spoken word about my testimony two years ago. So I sat down and began writing. I finished my spoken word in about two days. I then began to memorize it in hopes that one day I'd be able to share with people. & my hopes turned into reality about a year ago when I was asked to perform it at an open mic night my church was having. There was a room of about 50 people and I nervously took the stage and shared my journey with everyone. The responds I got after performing my spoken word was incredible. Everyone was so encouraging and I left feeling blessed and excited about how God has worked in my life.

(Image from when I performed at the Open Mic Night)

The day after I performed my spoken word, I drove out to LA with my sister-in-law. I told her about how I wanted to film my spoken word because I wanted a physical representation of the internal work that God has done in my life. I wanted to create a piece that embodied me. I originally wanted to create a video that would only be seen by me and family, but it turned into so much more. My sister-in-law sweetly offered her help and we decided to film my spoken word while we were in LA. (Remember, this took place a year ago). Months after we filmed Jessa (My sister-in-law) came down to Phoenix again and I was able to get the footage from her. So I downloaded the clips and took it to my friends at Parametric Studios and they tried working with what I had. Unfortunately, there was two many things that they needed that I wasn't able to provide them. They kindly offered to re-film it. So I decided that it would be a good idea! So exactly a year after I originally filmed mu spoken word, Joel, Alex, my cousin Ashley and myself went to down town Phoenix and filmed. We all were melting in the sun, but we pushed through and wrapped up after about 3 1/2 hours of filming. I left the footage in the talented hands of Joel and Alex.

A week or so later, I went to the Parametric Studios and recorded the audio that would overdub what I had recorded in the original video takes. I was tying to use all my multitasking skills at once; I was listening to my audio in head phones, while watching myself on screen from my film, while trying to say my spoken word. Let me tell you, matching the movements of my lips was quite a difficult task. Thankfully, 7 hours later, I finished! And again, I left my spoken word in the trusty hands of Alex! 

A few weeks later I received an e-mail with the first cut of my video! I was ecstatic! I probably looked like a complete moron as I squirmed around in my room with excitement! I eventually received several other e-mails over a three week time span... and then it happened... I got the final video cut with audio and music. I watched as tears weld up in my eyes. I sat back and spent time soaking in the greatness of everything Jesus has done in my life.

I wanted my spoken word to encompassed the pain I have faced, as well as the beautiful realization that Jesus has been faithfully by my side throughout my story. I knew that this spoken word would be a very vulnerable piece that let people into the mess of my life and the battles I have walked through. But I can gladly say, I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for the gracious and loving guidance from Jesus. He has healed my brokenness and has restored my life. I am truly blessed. Be inspired! 

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A very special thanks to Joel and Alex from Parametric Studios. They spent many hours and hard work to make this video look and sound incredible! You can find them of Facebook, here: https://www.facebook.com/ParametricStudios