A Letter to Jemma Sophia

Dear my darling niece,
 Jemma Sophia

 

It has been quite the emotional week for the family since you've been born. Especially for your parents. You definitely know how to make an entrance! If you haven't been able to feel the love yet, when you grow up, you'll be able to look back and see how many people have been praying for you and how many people have sent their encouragement to all of us. You are my wonderful little niece and I love you more than words could express. This week alone, I have felt and experienced everything from pure joy and excitement to fear and nervousness. It has sincerely broken my heart to watch you go through so much. The image of you laying in the tiny bed, your second day of life, with wires attached to you everywhere, will forever be burned in my mind. That way, when God heals your strong but petite body, we can look back and praise Him for how far He has brought you. I am believing for a complete healing. A crazy-miracle-kinda healing! I think you might have enough spunk in you, Jemma, to shock us all.

I can picture it as I write you... A mighty purpose and plan that God has for your life. Although small, you are going to greatly impact the world around you, more than you already have. You will be different than the average girl. You will grow in a strength that not many of us could handle, and you will have the scares to show your story. Jemma Sophia, embrace the scares, be proud of your uniqueness and individuality. Know your boundaries and understand your limits, but never let anyone tell you that you can't accomplish something. You are going to do amazing things! I will have the privilege of witnessing it! Since you have managed to fight with unbelievable endurance these past 10 days, I highly doubt the future will be able to contain your drive, tenderness and power. I am praying over your life continually. Myself and many others are so excited for the bright future ahead of you. I can't wait to hear your laugh and to see you smile. I can almost hear the sweet sound of your voice. Jemma Sophia, I am proud of who you are, already, and I will stand firmly in the hope and healing of Jesus and anxiously watch Him perform miracle after miracle in your life. I love you Jemma Sophia Starks, you are brilliantly created and designed as a beautiful masterpiece.

Your Forever,
Tunte Sheena


I give everything over to You Lord

Family First

I don't know if your journey is anything like mine... But if it is then you may be able to relate to this post.

I've always believed family first - As in, my parents, siblings and in-law's. I love family, appreciate family and would not be where I am if it wasn't for my family. Family is a beautiful thing. Although I have always placed such a high importance on my immediately, I have never desired a family of my own. Like husband and kids kinda stuff! I suppose I could dig deeper into, "Why"and I'm sure I'd find that I have always been sort of scared to start a family. Knowing the kind of deep love I'd pour into the relationship with my husband, while being fully aware that I'll be deeply hurt at times. So I almost buried the desire to even let myself feel, or desire, or pursue a relationship that would eventually turn into a family. Until last year, I started dating a guy from my church, we grew up in the same youth group together and we eventually fell in love and got engaged. Romantic huh? Well, somehow my life is full of surprises and our relationship got to a place where I had to make some really hard, life changing decisions. Needless to say, I'm not engaged. I've been postponing the day I write about it because I knew that once I did, it would be real. That there would be no hope for me to start a family with him. Or at this point, anyone. While that time in my life has been one of the hardest times I've faced, there has been so many positives that have come from the relationship. During the process of being in that relationship, God did something amazing. Something that I thought I'd never feel. Something I thought I'd never desire. I, for the VERY first time, have a deep longing and desire to have a family of my own. While to some this is a normal desire, even from a young age, I've never felt this before. I feel excitement for the first time to really become one with someone. I find myself even hesitating while I write this because I am asking myself, "Are you sure you really desire a husband and kids?" While simultaneously I am fully confident that God has truly softened my heart. I want a family. Tears well in my eyes even picturing the beauty of my "One day!" I sit here thrilled even picturing my very own family.

My life and the journey I've walked, hasn't been easy, but it truly has been amazing. Sincerely, I wouldn't trade a moment of the pain I've been through. Because in those times I have been refined. And for that, I am humbled and eternally grateful.

And this is what I feel like the best part of this whole epiphany is. Although I finally realize my desire for a husband and kids I am not waiting until I am married to pursue all the things that God has for me. That may sound really logical, but, I know so many people who feel like their life doesn't start until after they're married. I am thankful to say that with or without a husband I know God has called me to some very specific things that I need to accomplish in my life, regardless of my relationship status. That is so freeing! Because I don't feel the need to "wait around" for someone to come along and sweep me off my feet. Rather, I want to be running towards everything I am called to pursue and then find someone who will run alongside me. With passion, drive, goals, and a desire to also start a family.