A Heart To Serve - Wildly, Passionately, Eternally

I had the privilege of being recorded for a piece that was shown at my church - City of Grace. This video was, unexpectedly, really challenging for me to film. I am extremely passionate about serving and I have served at my church, in the youth ministry, for the past 8 years. I have been a part of the same ministry for a total of 11 years. So when asked how serving in the ministry has impacted my life - a flood of emotions and memories came rushing back. I have had to sacrifice so much throughout my life to remain consistent with serving. I have lost friendships, a romantic relationship, I gave up outside activities, lost sleep, comforted broken hearts late at night, all with the purpose of remaining faithful to my church and my relationship with God. My desire has been to mimic the heart of Jesus - His love, His care, His faithfulness, and His sacrifice.

Here is a look into my life and my journey of serving - one of the toughest most rewarding parts of my life!

Grace Storie - Sheena Starks from Sheena Starks on Vimeo.

I give everything over to You Lord

I call her "Q"

When I see or meet people, I observe a lot about them. I try to learn their body language, their sayings, their humor, their interests and their likes and dislikes. But most of all, I try to learn about their heart and the natural way that God has designed them. Once you sift through the insecurities, break down walls and build trust, you usually start to see the essence of who somebody is.

The friendships and the people that God has allowed to enter my life are always beautifully orchestrated. He mends and connects people with me in the most unlikely ways. He never seizes to amaze me! He has taught me a lot about friendships and pursuing people. Some of the main concepts God has taught me through building relationships is, people take time, pouring into people can be exhausting but it is always overshadowed by the beautiful blessings it brings, and "change" is not the prerequisite for an authentic friendship or for unconditional love.

Consistent with the way my friendships have gone, I have been able to build a solid friendship the sweet and "swag-a-lishous," Quincie, but it has been a long process with lots of building blocks!  For years now, Q and I have been building on our friendship and it has been slow but steady. We started off our friendship connecting on so many levels. We gladly found out that we both had a passion for dance, art/graffiti, fashion, humor and we have walked through very similar struggles. Through all of the ups and downs in life, I am so blessed to say I have been able to pray and stand with Q during the great seasons and during the tough seasons. I have spent hours praying, cried many tears, sought advice from people I love and respect, all for the goal of being the most equip friend I could be for Quincie. But most of all, I have fought to keep love at the center of our friendship.

To me, Quincie is not like the average girl. She has this undeniable light that radiates from her. When she enters a room heads turn. She is influential and stands with a confidence that most girls her age don't have. She has a heart of gold and she bubbles over with inspiration and passion. Some people dream of having incredible talents, but for Q, it comes natural. She is artistic and creative. She is strong-willed and easy-going. She is a product of the hip-hop culture. She won't eat chocolate ice cream. Her smile is priceless. Her braids are always fresh. When I look at Quincie, I see a brilliant future marked out ahead of her. A future that is filled with great accomplishments and the realization that her life is a gift from God and everything He has poured into her will be used to glorify Him. She won't let people in easily, but she still loves people deeply. I have had to stand outside the door of her heart until she willingly opened the door to let me in. Sometimes she only cracked the door open, but even that has meant the world to me.

Quincie recently text me. We talked for a little and I instantly knew something was up. Then, I got a text that melted my heart. It made all the years I have been desperate to understand her, absolutely worth it. The text read, "I could really use my sister right now." I have always viewed Q as my little sister and even if she doesn't like it, she will always be my little sister! (Sorry not sorry Q!) There was just something so different when I read that text this time.

It has reminded me that people are important and friendships, while they may take years to develop, are a beautiful example of the unconditional love that God pours out on us each day. So Quincie, I will be here for you, for forever. I will applaud you when you achieve your dreams and I will walk with you when you hit a speed bump and need some assistance. I am so thrilled that I get to have a front row seat to the beautiful life you are living. (Even though it doesn't always feel beautiful) Thank you for blessing me with your hugs, your dance moves, your jokes, your style, your passions and your willingness to share your life with me. I am blessed more today because of you. Thank you Q-Bird. I love you.


I give everything over to You Lord

My Feet Will Wonder Towards Adventure

Right now, I am able to look at my life and the things God is doing... and actually appreciate it! You know how some times we can miss what God is really doing in our lives? And the only way we really see the hand of God working in and through our lives is when we look back to past experiences and say, "Wow, I couldn't even see what God was doing." I know that I can't see all of His greatness working in my life, but I can see and even feel a lot of what He is doing. It is truly inspiring. To have a personal relationship with my Savior.

I was recently blessed with the chance to get out of town for a long weekend trip to Utah. I was mainly visiting my sister and my brother-in-law but had the chance to visit the church they are helping start. I have lots of amazing friends out in Salt Lake City who are serving Jesus, so it was incredible to spend time with them as well! I knew the trip would be a nice chance for me to get away, I just didn't realize how much it would impact me. But I was in for a wonderful surprise!

Since my sister was working a few nights when I was there, I had a chance to go to coffee shops and relax. I actually took that free time I had to read this book called, "The Next Generation Leader" (Which I sincerely love!) and I also spent that time, dreaming, praying, editing photos, updating my new phone, and driving around a new town. I am a sucker for adventure. I enjoyed my time in Utah so much. I love driving places and not completely knowing where I am going. I love the new views, smells, people, and atmospheres I got to experience. This trip did wonders. While I was spending time just talking with God, I could feel Him start to pour dreams and goals in my life that I have kind of left on the wayside. I have found this new appreciation for traveling. Like this undeniable, gonna die if I don't do it, kind of traveling. I feel like I have finally come full circle with some of the tough situations I have gone through these past 6  months. And I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is a beautiful site to see! I would not be where I am if it wasn't for the unconditional love of my family and close friends and my ever growing relationship with Jesus. It is humbling.

So as I start to learn how God will have these crazy dreams pan-out, I will be prayerfully expectant for the new and exciting, while remembering the importance of my "now." Remembering that my current life is just as crucial to the big picture as anything else that will happen in my future!

Oh goodness. I am so excited to be alive and living out my dreams.

I give everything over to You Lord

Family First

I don't know if your journey is anything like mine... But if it is then you may be able to relate to this post.

I've always believed family first - As in, my parents, siblings and in-law's. I love family, appreciate family and would not be where I am if it wasn't for my family. Family is a beautiful thing. Although I have always placed such a high importance on my immediately, I have never desired a family of my own. Like husband and kids kinda stuff! I suppose I could dig deeper into, "Why"and I'm sure I'd find that I have always been sort of scared to start a family. Knowing the kind of deep love I'd pour into the relationship with my husband, while being fully aware that I'll be deeply hurt at times. So I almost buried the desire to even let myself feel, or desire, or pursue a relationship that would eventually turn into a family. Until last year, I started dating a guy from my church, we grew up in the same youth group together and we eventually fell in love and got engaged. Romantic huh? Well, somehow my life is full of surprises and our relationship got to a place where I had to make some really hard, life changing decisions. Needless to say, I'm not engaged. I've been postponing the day I write about it because I knew that once I did, it would be real. That there would be no hope for me to start a family with him. Or at this point, anyone. While that time in my life has been one of the hardest times I've faced, there has been so many positives that have come from the relationship. During the process of being in that relationship, God did something amazing. Something that I thought I'd never feel. Something I thought I'd never desire. I, for the VERY first time, have a deep longing and desire to have a family of my own. While to some this is a normal desire, even from a young age, I've never felt this before. I feel excitement for the first time to really become one with someone. I find myself even hesitating while I write this because I am asking myself, "Are you sure you really desire a husband and kids?" While simultaneously I am fully confident that God has truly softened my heart. I want a family. Tears well in my eyes even picturing the beauty of my "One day!" I sit here thrilled even picturing my very own family.

My life and the journey I've walked, hasn't been easy, but it truly has been amazing. Sincerely, I wouldn't trade a moment of the pain I've been through. Because in those times I have been refined. And for that, I am humbled and eternally grateful.

And this is what I feel like the best part of this whole epiphany is. Although I finally realize my desire for a husband and kids I am not waiting until I am married to pursue all the things that God has for me. That may sound really logical, but, I know so many people who feel like their life doesn't start until after they're married. I am thankful to say that with or without a husband I know God has called me to some very specific things that I need to accomplish in my life, regardless of my relationship status. That is so freeing! Because I don't feel the need to "wait around" for someone to come along and sweep me off my feet. Rather, I want to be running towards everything I am called to pursue and then find someone who will run alongside me. With passion, drive, goals, and a desire to also start a family.

Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys

I have a passion that has been set on fire, a calling that is great, and a heart of expectancy! I dance in the midst of pain, and in the presence of joy. I smile not because of my circumstances but in-spite of my circumstances. This girl is on fire... even when I feel like my flame is going dim.

I give everything to You Lord

What's Up With Love?

Do you ever question the hype about LOVE? Why does everyone make this "love thing" such an important part of life? Where does the whole love topic come from and why has it swept over everyone of us? People will often times spend their whole life trying to find someone to love and just as much trying spent trying to be loved. It's like the song, "Whats Love Got To Do With It?" Why do we all crave to be loved? Why has it been installed in us to want to feel the excitement, embrace, passion, care, hopefulness and sincerity that love has to offer? 

There are plenty of accrunams you can create for the word love: 

L - Learning
O - Observing
V - Validating
E - Experiencing

L - Listening
O - Openness
V - Vision
E - Empathy 

Although we can create catchy phrases for the meaning of love and what it was designed for, nothing says it better then the Bible. Cheesy? Hardly! The Bible gives such an amazing understand of why we all long for love! There are several verses that describe how God loves as well as people demonstrating love in the many different stories you read in Scripture. I thought that 1 John 4:7-21 helps explain who installed the desire in us to love and what authentic love looks like.

God’s Love and Ours

⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.


¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. ¹⁷ This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
  
¹⁹ We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. ²¹ And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. 

Reading these scriptures is such an amazing reminded of how powerful and loving our God is. I need to remember to thank Him daily for His sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ. I'm blessed and overwhelmed with how Great and Passion my God loves me. & YOU!

I give everything to You Lord

adVENTURE

Season 1 Episode 1 "Venture"
And this part of my life I call Adventure....

I have, throughout life, been able to see the journeys and stages of life that God has brought me to and through. I have been able to feel when a season is coming to an end and when a new season is beginning. It was about 7 months ago when a season of my life ended simply because God asked me to be obedient. So I listened. This was the first time I didn't have any "If" "&'s" or "But's". I have, ever since, been on a emotional and Spiritual detox. It has been a renewal phase in my life, that has allowed me to center my everything on the Creator of life. God has been so faithful with getting to know me, all the good and all the bad. I could never thank Him enough. I have been feeling like God has placed a destination in front of me and I am slowly catching glimpses of what it is looking like. But it's BIG and it's Beautiful. It's been quite the adVENTURE. I am very expectant, hopeful, excited, nervous and ready. God has held my hand thus far in my life, He has never let go, so I am going to dive in head first into His plans that are ahead.

When you think about your life what do you envision? What gets you excited to wake up in the morning, to keep on living? What ignites a burning passion under your feet, causing you to be so excited you can barely even speak? Let God be your morning, afternoon and evening, setting you apart by the air that you are breathing. Give it to God. Your life and all your thoughts.

I give everything over to You Lord

Filling Up

Lately, I have been so passionate about living. Literally, passionate about being alive, breathing, walking, talking. I feel so comfortable yet not complacent with where God has me. I am at a place of complete submission to His will. I have "thrown in the towel", so to speak. And no, I'm not implying that I have given up on life, just given up on my ways being more important then Gods will. I have been trying my best to drain my inhibitions and let Gods vision for my life fill me up. It's exciting. More exciting than I thought it would be, honestly! I am a "go with the flow" kind of person, and I have left all my joys, pains, and trails in Gods hands to smooth them out and mark the map of my life.

I am willing and ready to leave, to stay, to travel, to encourage, to conquer, to build new relationships or mend old ones. You know that antsy feeling you get when you know something big is coming up? That is the feeling that rages wild within the Spirit and body. I am just excited! I have spent a lot of years trying to "figure" things out, while, in a way, turning my back to seeking God. So if you feel like you are at a place where you just want to "be there", where ever you feel like "there" is, be patient. God really is concerned about your character, your journey, your growth, your battles fought and won! Also, if you are at a place where you actually don't have excitement for living or to face another day, I have been there too. You are not alone. There is HOPE! If you are willing to drowned yourself in prayer, the Bible, and strong people, you will be able to find the spark for life! Do what it takes to get to where God needs you, trust me, it's worth it!

I give everything over to You Lord

Christmas Pudding 2011

Here are some photos from the Alice Cooper Christmas Pudding {2011}

A Big thanks to Darryl for pushing to the top

& a Big thanks to all the talented, dedicated and passionate artist that participated with Footkaln or just had a piece in the show. Awesome job to everyone!!!

I give everything over to You lord

ABOUT.ME

I have recently made a profile on ABOUT.ME - Here is what it says: Or VISIT HERE

God Breathed Life Into Me

I am passionate about living & passionate about God, people, dance, photography, art, writing, creating, spoken words, music, and relationships. I get inspired by the uncommon and always try to listen for where God is leading me. I feel lucky to have my life, solely because I get to be molded, grow, encourage, achieve, accomplish, fail, try again, succeed, learn, forget, forgive, remember, and know who I am as a child of a King, a sister, friend, best friend, aunt, cousin, daughter, co-worker, crew member, youth leader and as ME! I really don't know much about anything, but I have the desire to become knowledgeable about most things! I am excited to live and can't wait to do great things in this World!

"My flesh may fail, but God you never will!"

I give everything over to You Lord