SEX AND THE CITY

So as my Sunday night felt like it would never end, I called up the ‘Girls.’ Jessica, Allison, Lisa, and Hannah. Yes, those are the ‘Girls.’ We went to a late night showing of SEX AND THE CITY. While the night started off happy, slowly it kicked in. That feeling where you know everything’s okay, but you feel like everything’s going wrong. That one. Weird I know. I feel a sense of loneliness. Again. The empty hole that is filled for only at moments at a time. It’s hard, and incredibly strange that I can smile past the tears. I wouldn’t say tears of pain. Or maybe that’s what it is. I don’t want to say my heart is a little crushed. At the same time, it is. Nothing that can’t be fixed, believe me, I’ve fixed every broken heart I've had. I truly believe anything is possible. I embarked on a new adventure, something I WILL NEVER FORGET. It made me feel excitement, fear, happiness. One thing I do not have is… Regret. I am so glad. I don’t feel like anything can really hold me back. So I sat in the movie, silently thinking about what possibly could happen in my future. As the Sex And The City girls talked and walked with a certain sense of confidence I was reminded. Something, CONFIDENCE, I want to keep having. I know I am picking attributes I want from a secular movie. Confidence is confidence right? I don’t really know anymore. About a lot of stuff, the stuff I was so sure about. That’s okay though. Right? So my phone vibrated in the movie, and I realized I had an expectation of who it’d be. I don’t want to even say disappointment, but at the same time, I couldn’t really say what I felt. My mind is running on little sleep, and my heart is running on old fuel, at least that’s how it feels. The more I write the more I see myself getting depressed. That time of the month? Or am I really feeling depressed? For the last time, I WOULDN’T KNOW HOW I’M FEELING. That’s OKAY though. I know it is. I am so glad I have God’s love. The love that will never go away, Thank God. Literally. I want to embrace the things I have learned and will learn. And to think… All in the new Sex And The City movie!

I give everything over to you Lord.