Saturday, October 11, 2008

Deep Sighs

You wake up, and you take another breath, another gasp of life. Then you remember, your still in this pit, this narrow dark pathway, your living hell. Yes, you inhaled once again, to remember, that you are here, stuck under this pile of garbage and the weights of this so called 'world.' You woke up for this? Stumbling into the bathroom, you look in the mirror, and it feels like every mussel and bone in your body suddenly lost all strength and your body collapses underneath you. Your palms smack the tile, your knees shatter from the fall, and your head follows after with a loud thump. The puddle around your shivering head is the tears you have cried, meaningful though, I have to admit. Don't feel bad, the tears tell the story of your life, and how everyday... yes... every single day that you have endured pain, gut wrenching disappointment... the world smiles back and say's "Welcome to failure." As you slide your body up against the cabinet, your head falls back being caught by the wall. You don't feel pain anymore. Chris-crossed arms, your fingers inch their way up to your shoulders, then slide down with nails digging into the flesh, the place you call "Home." As blood seeps to the surface your eyes roll back in your head, "Brilliant," you say it again but louder, "Brilliant!" You run your fingers through your hair softly, and then you pull, as hard as you can, hoping to feel something. "Ahhhh!" Don't be mistaken, screaming won't help either. Oh yes, you're trapped, trapped inside this hollow, empty, unfulfilled, waste of space... life. Tick-Tock. The clock isn't going to wait up, you mine as well except the fact that you can no longer contain your feelings. You're already forgotten, never missed, the clocks gonna strike twelve, so go ahead and toast to this.


I give everything over to you Lord

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