Do not apologize for existing.

I heard this spoken word from Natalie Patterson. A poet. Her words have been helping me release some of the junk and pain I am still holding onto. The internal war I face, daily. The battle of perfection. The desire to be loved, and accepted - while feeling like I never amount to, "enough." Oh to be a woman. It takes strength to be confident. I am just not there yet. 
... Yet. 

 Here is Natalie's spoken word:

"I was not always confident to speak the words the way I felt them.
Thought silence would suffocate the pain - It does not.

I taught myself to come alive.
I wrote.
And wrote.
And wrote.
Until my mouth could form the words that my backbone wouldn't carry.
I wrote, until I found the truth of things, until I saw the light again.

There is always light somewhere.
Beyond the bruises, and the names you call yourself.
Sometimes your worst enemy is in your own skin.
Sometimes it shares your face and claims to love you.
That hateful voice is not love.
I promise you.

There will come a day, that your fight is bigger than your fear.
That you nearly claw your way out of your body to prove that you exist.
Leave that skin for someone else and design your own wings.
You, are a masterpiece. Magnificent in your glory. Have you seen her lately?

The girl. The girl with the halo smiling and welcome home hands.
She is the best thing never seen cause your to busy being scared to be great.
And I get it.

Sometimes your body is as cumbersome as adulthood is.
Sometimes your drowning and wonder if anyone even notices.
Read books for answers and nothing speaks to you.
We are told that our complexity is a burden by people to weak to embrace their own condition.

To be selfless, exist, restless, unhappy - and never, ever expected to verbalize it.
We are told, to balance the uncertainty of this world with grace in stilettos heels, with a perfect complexion.
And that is just not realistic.
So lets rewrite these unspoken rules.
The ones that shackle us to people we never intended on being.

News flash.
You're allowed to fart.
And cellulite.
Well... cellulite is the devil.
"Get out you naked girl with cellulite."
Said no one... ever.
So get over it.

High heels aren't a requirement.
And a flat stomach isn't for everyone... cause chips are delicious.
You are allowed to be as you truly are.
There is space for every person on the spectrum.

We are dynamic, if nothing else.
Gorgeously ourselves.
We are women of something grater.
Speak, and the universe will react.
Align your actions with your intentions and watch your life become as breathtaking as sunset.

I dare you."


I give everything over to You Lord