Cheers To New Adventures

I sit on Alaska flight 637 headed to Seattle, departing from Phoenix. With anticipation in my veins and a hunger to learn, I’m embarking on my first work trip with my new job. Just a week into working! This would seem pretty minuscule if it hadn’t been for my journey leading up to this moment. But it has been magical for many reasons. Well, besides the fact that I forgot to check in my flight so I’m literally in the last seat possible, next to the three bathrooms where people keep bumping me with their butts as they try to discreetly exit the lavatories. But other than a few sassy flight attendants and some awkward airport people, things have been going smoothly. 

Let’s get to the magical part! I have some pretty ambitious goals for my career and personal achievements within the workforce. But if you would have told me 6 years ago, that I’d be where I am, on this flight, I would have been wide-eyed and terrified. When I decided to go to college I had a good idea that I wanted to get my degree in something creative and technology based. I love art and I love computers. Perfect, right?! Well, there was a degree that just opened at Arizona State University, it

was brand new and they only offered it online, they didn’t provide on campus classes. After looking into some of the courses I decided it aligned with where I saw myself in the future, plus I knew the digital world was growing and changing, so I felt like it was a great fit.

While I was finishing my degree, I entered into my first professional job, almost 6 years ago now! I worked Mon-Thurs and they started me at $8.00. Yeah baby, a full $8 bucks an hour. I was over the moon with an opportunity to gain experience while finishing my degree so I was cool with taking a clean $8. I ended up working at this small digital marketing company for a little over three years ending my hourly rate at $11.50.

My last 6 months at that company, I had gotten married, moved into our new apartment and felt a nudge in my spirit that it was time for my next endeavor. To be honest, it was in year two of working there that I started getting restless and sick of working in a really tough environment. From sexual harassment, being underpaid, and being more than micromanaged (if that’s a thing), it was tough to stick around. But I never felt like I wasn’t released from that job, until my last 6 months. It was a strong urge to leave and a desire to push myself to greater things.

The second company I applied for ended up being a winner! It was a lovely office in Downtown Phoenix with a cool culture and great people. I was ecstatic to join an agency and a team of young, intelligent digital marketers. I spent the next two and a half years learning more about paid and organic social advertising. I bumped my hourly rate to $15 bucks (or so) and felt like I hit the lottery. Well, compared to the position I had previously. Still not ideal, but it was better and I was grateful. I grew exponentially, I was challenged, and I had even more direction and clarity about the next steps I wanted to take in my career. Over the course of those two digital marketing job, there were times where I cried to my husband, about feeling underappreciated, underpaid and unsettled with where I was. But I knew that’s where I needed to be, I knew I needed those jobs, for my confidence, my experience and my personal growth in the corporate world.

But again, I was restless. I can’t truly describe the tug-of-war I experienced in my soul of feeling like I needed to be at that job but also knowing that a new door was going to open. I didn’t know what door, what opportunity, or what the heck all my feelings were about. So, I decided, until something else came along, I would keep my head down, work hard, stick in my lane, do the best I could, push myself and wait. And wait. And wait. Sometimes very frustrated and very impatient, but I waited! Although I couldn’t have imagined myself where I am right now, I was confident that I wouldn’t have to force myself into my next position and that it would open up, unexpectedly.

In my efforts to do my job well, I chatted with my dad about some of the things I was working on in my job and the desires I had to unite all of our departments more. My dad works in the direct mail and digital world as well, so he’s always been someone I bounce ideas off of. He asked if I wanted to chat with his company’s VP of Digital Marketing and I jumped on the opportunity to pick his brain. He lives in Seattle, so we set up a call to chat! It was a lovely conversation about social advertising, processes, and digital strategies. I got to ask and learn and gain knowledge from his incredible experience. My plan was to take all of my newly learned information and go back into my job and test out some of his suggestions and try to make our company a more fluid workspace. To bring new findings and create a more dynamic team. I know, lofty goals. 

By the end of our conversation, Bryan casually asked if I was looking to switch jobs or if I was interested in applying at their company. I was totally caught off guard, and I awkwardly stumbled over my words and I tried to explain that I wasn’t actively looking to switch jobs but that I was interested. He stated something that I will forever remember. He said, “We love to hire intelligent people like yourself.” Like MYSELF? What! I was totally taken aback. Especially for someone who struggles with confidence and feeling inadequate in just about everything I do. (Don’t worry folks, I’m working on it!) From our 45 min chat, he sparked a little flame in my spirit. Maybe this was the answer to my prayers, questions, and future career goals.

Since this is a forever long post already, I’ll spare you all the details. But basically, I went through a month-long interview process, between that chat with Bryan to my final interview. It was a pretty intense interview process and it challenged me to really express my knowledge and experience. Plus, I was asking for a $17,000 raise, and I was anxiously believing for this new opportunity to come together! I finally got an email to call one of the ladies from HR for a quick chat. I was expecting a bit more HR related questions, but instead, she kindly offered me the job. But not at a $17,000 raise but a $21,000 raise. They offered me $4,000 more than I had expected. Paying for all my health insurance and great 401K benefits, which I’m very passionate about. I’m posting all this personal information, not to gloat about my new job, but to merely highlight the goodness I’ve been able to experience through staying faithful with what’s right in front of me.  And even more, to highlight how God truly listened to my prayers and blessed me with, literally, more than I had asked or imagined.

After officially getting the job, signing papers and putting my resignation at my previous job, I was told that there were 250 applicants for the position I got. The most applicants they had received for any job opening, ever, at their company. So many that they ended up closing the job posting. They said I was in the top 3 based on education and job experience. This is still so crazy to me, guys! I still laugh at the thought that somehow, as I was flipping through paperwork back in 2008 trying to select a bachelor’s degree, that it would have led me to this very moment, years later. I’ll take a few butt bumps by the bathroom lavatory if it means it gets me closer to my career goals. I am barely scratching the surface of my dreams, but goodness, I never thought it’d feel this good. It’s been tiresome at times, and confusing, but I couldn’t have planned this better, through the questions, tears, accomplishments, and frustrations, I am one step closer baby!

Stay faithful. You are seen.

Work hard and keep grinding.

But at the end of the day, listen to the spirit inside you, it will guide you better than any plans you could conjure up.

And here is my final encouragement to you… Wait for the right moment to move on. Do your best to end things well, in your job, in your relationships or just in life situations. How you end one season is usually how you start a new one. Don’t burn bridges, give people respect and by all means, be kind. You never know how opportunities in the future will find their way back in your life, so be nice and laugh a lot!

Sheena West

We Will Not Back Down

I haven't given an in depth update of how life looks and how my sweet fiance's health has been. Cause to be honest, it's exhausting. We have shared progress with family and our church, when we are asked in person. But other than that, we are just walking out of our journey, and that takes most of our energy most days. Just the other day, I was sitting at Starbucks alone getting filled up in the Word, and a girl walked over and tapped me on the shoulder and softly says, "Are you Kasey's fiance." I proudly said, "Yes!" She explained that she went to school with Kasey and had seen my blog posts and wanted to see how we've been. A very sweet gesture.

I was already thinking about writing another blog post to update everyone on how life has been, and how Kasey is actually doing, but after we had talked, it reminded me of something really important. The disease Kasey has been diagnosed with is real, and challenging, but Kasey and I want to be known for glorifying our God and not his diagnoses. So I write, although feeling exhausted, because I need to share how good, how faithful, how powerful, and how personal our God is.

This is what things look like now! Kasey and I, a few weeks ago, didn't go to his scheduled doctors appointment as a step of faith. We felt like there was something more God had for us, besides taking out his colon out or going on immune-altering shots that he would need for the rest of his life. That same day, we sifted through all the information doctors told us, everything we read, and through all the suggestions from family and friends, and came to the same conclusion. Surprisingly, we settled on something that was seemingly unrelated, and the very thing that doctors said had nothing to do with Kasey's condition. Food! We agreed on food! We decided, there has to be a connection between what he's putting into his body and what comes out of his body. Right? Pretty logical! I will remember the night we decided to change our lifestyle. It was that peace, that didn't make sense, that was illogical, and up until that point, we had felt crazy that every doctor told us that diet was completely irrelevant and unrelated. But that's what we agreed on. And even if we WERE crazy, we made the decision together, and we both were in full agreement. Even that felt like a small victory, and we take what we can get these days!

We decided to cut out gluten/wheat, dairy, grains, and seeds. Ha! It makes me laugh even writing it. Out of everything, that was our conclusion. Kasey and I have always eaten more healthy and both are knowledgeable enough to make an educated decision about our dietary journey. We have completely changed what we put into our bodies, everyday meal, everyday! We have been strict and very particular. I have also joined Kasey in this new change. Because part of my commitment to him is walking with him, fully, through the things he does. With our wedding just a few months away, I figured, it's better to mesh our eating styles now in order to create an easier transition into married life. So we eat a lot of really good food. A lot of colorful food! Our meals consist of meat, veggies, fruits, eggs, and anything that isn't processed.

And can I please be the first to announce that Kasey did not have to go back to the hospital. He isn't getting his colon removed. And his bleeding has subsided. Most days consist of texts from my fiance which read, "No blood!" That is our miracle. That is our God showing up in our lives. That is our reminder that God hears our cries, knows our life, and provides real and practical help to us. Has our diet helped? We believe it has made a huge impact, but that dose not discount or negate the work God is doing behind the sense to completely heal and restore Kasey's body.

This is what I have decided. Kasey and I are called to serve God and love people, and that is exactly what we plan on doing. I had a conversation with God. It probably sounded more like me preaching to God, but I told Him this,

" Kasey and I will serve you. If Kasey does not receive full healing and this is our life long battle, then we will still serve you. I believe that You will grace us with the resources and wisdom we need to navigate through life with whatever comes our way. You wouldn't call us and put a plan and a destiny over our lives, so we can sit at home and squander it. You gave us a plan and a purpose because through us You will do a good work. So if You want to use us, please, have Your way. But weather You like it or not God, we will not leave our post. We will stand our ground. And we will serve You in the best ways we know how."

I don't know if God appreciates my spice. But He has loved me in a way, which no other has matched, that my life will forever be spent sharing that same love with others. So Kasey and I march on! Warriors for a cause bigger than our circumstance, and we trust that God has our best interest in mind! Please, continue the prayers, that has been huge for Kase and I during this process.

Our God is so good. Like, really, really good!


I give everything over to You Lord

Passionately Loved. Our Engagement.

Kasey and I are happily engaged and we have been sharing our lives with each other over the past few years. Showing one another the depths of our passions, our convictions, and our love. We feel very blessed to be living the life we have. We would be the first to admit, it has taken a lot of hard work and dedication to get to the point we are at today, and we know there is so many more years of hard work  and love to come.

As we recently got back our engagement pictures, I scrolled through them with Kasey by my side. We looked at each other and smiled, knowing that we have seen each others brokenness but choose to fight for each other anyway. It is a humbling experience.

I can honestly say that this man I am honored to marry in 4 short months is the most loving, passionate, relentless fighter, and breath-taking soul I have ever loved. My world would be so dull without his words of encouragement, his surprises, his openness, his tears, his laughter, and his strength.

I am straight up blessed.

 

A big thanks to our photographer Danielle!

Visit her site:

DANIELLE APPLE PHOTOGRAPHY

Connect with her on Facebook at: Danielle Apple Photography

I give everything over to You Lord

Do not apologize for existing.

I heard this spoken word from Natalie Patterson. A poet. Her words have been helping me release some of the junk and pain I am still holding onto. The internal war I face, daily. The battle of perfection. The desire to be loved, and accepted - while feeling like I never amount to, "enough." Oh to be a woman. It takes strength to be confident. I am just not there yet. 
... Yet. 

 Here is Natalie's spoken word:

"I was not always confident to speak the words the way I felt them.
Thought silence would suffocate the pain - It does not.

I taught myself to come alive.
I wrote.
And wrote.
And wrote.
Until my mouth could form the words that my backbone wouldn't carry.
I wrote, until I found the truth of things, until I saw the light again.

There is always light somewhere.
Beyond the bruises, and the names you call yourself.
Sometimes your worst enemy is in your own skin.
Sometimes it shares your face and claims to love you.
That hateful voice is not love.
I promise you.

There will come a day, that your fight is bigger than your fear.
That you nearly claw your way out of your body to prove that you exist.
Leave that skin for someone else and design your own wings.
You, are a masterpiece. Magnificent in your glory. Have you seen her lately?

The girl. The girl with the halo smiling and welcome home hands.
She is the best thing never seen cause your to busy being scared to be great.
And I get it.

Sometimes your body is as cumbersome as adulthood is.
Sometimes your drowning and wonder if anyone even notices.
Read books for answers and nothing speaks to you.
We are told that our complexity is a burden by people to weak to embrace their own condition.

To be selfless, exist, restless, unhappy - and never, ever expected to verbalize it.
We are told, to balance the uncertainty of this world with grace in stilettos heels, with a perfect complexion.
And that is just not realistic.
So lets rewrite these unspoken rules.
The ones that shackle us to people we never intended on being.

News flash.
You're allowed to fart.
And cellulite.
Well... cellulite is the devil.
"Get out you naked girl with cellulite."
Said no one... ever.
So get over it.

High heels aren't a requirement.
And a flat stomach isn't for everyone... cause chips are delicious.
You are allowed to be as you truly are.
There is space for every person on the spectrum.

We are dynamic, if nothing else.
Gorgeously ourselves.
We are women of something grater.
Speak, and the universe will react.
Align your actions with your intentions and watch your life become as breathtaking as sunset.

I dare you."


I give everything over to You Lord

"Get Out There and LIVE"

“Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present." 

 ― Richard Carlson

As most of you know, my sweet niece, Jemma Sophia, was born with a severe and complex heart defect. Finding this out has created a keen awareness of how precious and dear life is. Jemma has unknowingly taught me how to love people "better." And what I really mean by 'better' is unconditionally. To love when it isn't convenient and when it stretches me past my comfort zone. Finding out about the condition of my darling niece has changed the way I live. My perspective, the things I value, what I deem as important, how I handle my friendships, my family and my own personal life. 

I drove by the Phoenix Children's Hospital, a few days ago, knowing that my inspirational sister-in-law was caring for Jemma while she was recovery from her recent Cath procedures. I texted Stephaine to see if she needed anything while I was in the area. (It is hard to sit back and know that there isn't anything I can do, physically, to help my family in their greatest time of need.) Steph responded and let me know that they were covered and didn't need anything. So I kept on driving, only to receive this heartfelt text from Steph...

This was one of those moments where time stood still for me. It was a powerful reminder to live intentionally, boldly and to love and LIVE. Really. Truly. LIVE. As the old saying goes, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Stephanie's words graciously reminded me to stop and see the beauty in life and to always remember how blessed I am.    

It is all wonderful and dandy to be reminded of these inspiring life lessons... until I actually have to put them into practice. 

"Where the rubber meets the road!"  

I was recently confronted with an "opportunity." A chance to move past my self and my own uncomfortable feelings, to stop and assess what is really important, and to choose to love instead of holding negativity in my heart. The epitome of loving someone unconditionally.

Here is the brief, and intentionally vague, background story. I recently shared, with my boyfriend Kasey, some discomfort that I was feeling about some past situations. I was honest, really honest! I expressed how I didn't want to love or get to know these two specific people that I was having trouble with. These two people are very close to Kasey. I told him that I didn't want anything to do with them and I had no desire hearing about them. I know, I know... I am NOT making myself sound very sweet. But despite my resistance, Kasey loving heard my heart and made me feel understood. He shared how he would do whatever it takes to make my comfort his main priority. 

How did I get so lucky blessed!?    

A day later, at church, the very two people that my heart was struggling with, came into the youth building to say hello to Kasey. And it was there that I was met with the two decisions. To either hide and avoid contact with them or to remember how precious and short life is. A chance to choose love. I knew the very moment the Holy Spirit promoted me to say hello. I was in the middle of folding prayer request cards and God said, "GO!" So I dropped the things in my hand, I stood up tall and marched my way to the couple. I shook hands, hugged and honestly expressed my gratitude in meeting them.

A seemingly small feat for others, but a monumental moment for me. To willingly, with no hesitation or begrudging heart, choose to LIVE life. To not love when it is convenient for me. But to let go of the small things that can so easily entangle my heart, and instead say, "NO," to the voices of bitterness, resentment and sourness.

"If you're not going to talk about something during the last hour of your life, then don't make it a top priority during your lifetime." 

All the difficult feelings that I have been processing with Kasey haven't just gone away. They didn't just up and leave. I am still working on them. Not for Kasey, not for the couple, but because I want to love God and His children with a passionate unconditional love.

So I am continually learning the meaning of Forgiveness. Love. Acceptance. Trust. & Redemption. To be reminded of this is to be reminded of what life should really be about. The ability to, 

"Get Out There and LIVE!"

I give everything over to You Lord