Superhuman Lyrics

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How'd I survive when I can barely speak
Barely eat, On my knees

But that's the moment u came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invincible
I see though the me I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you

I give everything over to You Lord

Quiet, She May Hear

They continuously shove these gut wrenching words down my throat. Nodding in laugher, as all their pointer fingers aim heartlessly in my direction. Riots build with their plead to tear me to sheds, thrusting shivers down my out of line spine. Jokes and caddy remarks reflect their previous discussion behind my back. Plot's and ploys, I wonder the level of compassion in the first place, because now, it seems more rung dry then ever. The coffee houses hold the things you would never say to my face, as well as the car, and your phone. Take your prime opportunity and yell your insides out on the sidewalk, because I would hope to never walk by what you were feeling. It may be a messy job, and scrubbing under my nails may be necessary, but you can have at me, the way you've dreamt about hurting me. I may cry, it's not unusual though, so get out those pent up frustrations and live free. So as I swallow my pride, down with your perfect sentence structures, I clench my teeth and focus forward. Last year has nothing close to what next year hold, so I willingly release my grip and embrace the things of uncertainty. The remarks yet heard, the secrets yet whispered, the pain yet cried, and the future yet lived, I applaud the uniqueness of life.

I give everything over to You Lord

People These Days

They lied when they said, "Kiss a toed and it will turn into a prince." Or was it a frog! 

They lied when they said, "All dogs go to heaven."

They lied when they said, "All cats have nine lives."

Random.

I give everything over to You Lord

ARTISTIC

Ashley, my cousin, reminds me why I adore art. 

I crave photo's now, more than ever. 

Color.

Texture.

Style.

Shape.

Fabric.

Shoes. 

Hair.

Jewelry.

I give everything over to You Lord

How I Spent My Thanksgiving

Ashley, Justyn, Kenneth, Rory, Stephy, Rae, Luke, Mom, Dad, Uncle Ken, Tante Yvonne

Thank you family

I am truly Bless, and I am truly thankful

I give everything over to You Lord

Memories

New Photo's on Snap Shot

-Ashley Nicole Yeck

I give everything over to You Lord

Still Thanking...

I never knew they thought it'd applied to me

But I guess they thought differently. 

Apologizing was simply my goal

Scolding is what happen to unfold.

As tears streamed down my face

I was left abandoned, fearful and not safe. 

The bathroom floor is where I hit my hands and knees

Raised head, whispering, "God Please."

This is a battle that includes no one but You and me

I will wrestle with it until I truly find relief.

I am trying to listen carefully to God's perfect guidance  

Aside from all my emotions I will sit and hear in silence.

I can still smile, and I can still laugh

I, thankfully this time, don't feel trapped. 

 

 I give everything over to You Lord

Dedication

For not taking the easy way out

I'd like to applaud you.

For having morals and standards 

I'd like to give you a standing ovation.

For speaking the truth 

I'd encourage you to take a bow. 

Some people never learn it in their life time, but you did some how

I give everything over to You Lord

Crashing Waves

 

I adore this season. 

Of.

Thankfulness! 

I am simply reminded to be thankful.

Remembering NOT to take:

My house for granted.

My true friends for granted.

My chance to go to college for granted.

My clothes.

My car.

My parents.

My sister.

My Brother.

My other three sisters.

My bed.

My meals.

My dogs.

My phone.

My shoes. 

And.

And.

Most Importantly.

My life. 

My chance to share God.

My chance to receive God.

My chance to show Grace where I need Grace myself.

My chance to give forgiveness.

My chance to give my chair to someone.

My chance to stand up for someone.

My chance to love.

My chance to be an example, God being the center. 

My chance to smile.

To dance.

To sing.

To laugh.

To smile.

To cry.

To feel alive.

To help.

To serve.

To live.

To learn.

I give everything over to You Lord

Because A Girl Like You Is Impossible To Find

Written Truth. Catchy Line. 

Identify Your Emotions

Betrayed. 

Alone. 

Abandoned. 

Ashamed. 

Condemned. 

Rejected. 

Sad. 

Angry. 

Self-Conscience. 

Bitter.

Hurt.

Mad. 

disappointed.

resentful. 

lousy. 

disappointed. 

discouraged. 

powerless. 

diminished. 

guilty. 

tense. 

pessimistic. 

lost.

unsure.

distrustful.

hesitant.

uncertain.

doubtful.

incapable.

paralyzed.

vulnerable.

pathetic.

fearful.

I give everything over to You Lord

Who's Without Sin

"let he who is without sin, cast the first stone"

"that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ"

"And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless."

"According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love"

I give everything over to you lord

A Wish You'd Never Want

She's letting the sun go down on this night

She was supposed to be married tying the knot securely tight.

She would have looked beautiful in her white wedding gown

While she walked down the aisle wiping away every frown. 

Their first kiss as husband and wife

Well, actually she's still living the single life.

Because tonight she's falling asleep with no one by her side

There is nothing left to shed, no more tears to cry.

It would have been a year or so since they had been together

He missed out on the most adorable girl ever.

There was a different guy who held her hand tonight

He took awhile her fear and he gave her good insight.

While she stay's strong with the Lord by her side

He walks the wobbly road lined with pitch forks and knives. 

She rests knowing her family is the glue that keeps her together

There is no "for worse," there is only "for better!"

I give everything over to You Lord

Is Chivalry Dead?

Is It? Really, is chivalry dead? Good question! I couldn't give you statistics or graphs, showing the actual level of chivalry left in the world. I could simply give you my personal opinion. Well, take a deep breath and here we go! The literal definition of chivalry is, "courteous behavior, esp. that of a man toward women." So I ask myself again, is chivalry dead? Think, when's the last time a man has held a door open for you, or stood up and gave you his seat. How about helping you put your groceries in the car, at random? Or, what about a man stopping what he's doing to just ask how your day it going, but you can actually tell his sincerity? This is excluding spouses, boyfriends, and family members. I am not going to sit here and make false accusations at men, by saying, "There is no good men out in the world." I can open your eyes, though, to the men around you, the men that make up our world. So I ask you again, when's the last time a men has held the door open for you? I made a comment to my friend Michael S. tonight, and said, "Can you and Bria not even be civil though? How does this correlate? Well, the definition of civil is, "courteous and polite." I can honestly say that I've tried my best to make thing's right with the people in my life. But what happens, then, if the person won't let it go, talks behind your back, and can't even have chivalry or be civil toward you? It's disappointing when the person you were falling in love with is now someone who resents you. I have made mistakes, I have tried to paid my dues, but please, don't hold my flesh against me. I'm working on it, and I've actually grown up, but you wouldn't know because you don't take a chance to ask. Then again, it doesn't sound like you'd care. Sad. And. I'm sorry you feel this bitter, this anger, this hurt, this rejection, this pain, this insecurity. Gosh, you wouldn't even know how sorry I really am. If I could do life over, I'd keep you. I know that sounds harsh, and insensitive and prideful, and, and, and, I don't mean it in that way. What I'm trying to say is, well, that I miss you, and your loved by me still, and although you will probably never accept that, it's true. 

I give everything over to you Lord

HELP ME

I am very aware that I haven't written in 9 days! I think the emotional roller coster of life has been ripping on my confidence and I feel like I've been dragging 10 pound weights behind me. I am certain, that the build up emotion I have been feeling toward my dad is where it started. Then, I have friends at school, who cry to me because their boyfriends cheated on them, their parents are a reck, and to top it off, they don't know God. Mixture for disaster. You have do understand, that I love people opening up and sharing their heart with me, and I will, every time, be sincere about caring for them. I think the battle comes into play when I have unexplainable feelings that I have not been able to reales. Juggling the two is a talent, to feel for others, without burdening myself with everything they are faced with. I have missed writing to be honest, but I haven't found the enjoyment it putting together my thoughts. My mind is a puzzle and all the pieces seem to only fit the edges, there is nothing filling it the blanks and connecting one side to the other. It's frustrating. 

I have come to the conclusion that I am tired of doing life on my own. Please, before making any assumptions, let me explain what that personally means to me. You can eliminate the idea that I want a "man" or a boyfriend to do life with. Because, to put it into prospective for you, I am to hurt by a lot of men, to even start a fling, one night stand, serious relationship, or anything for that matter. I couldn't even say I want more girlfriends in my life, because I can really only handle a few girls and the emotion involved with that. So what is it? It must be more then just desiring a companion to accompany me to the grocery store. Or baking with me on the weekends. Right? I have so much passion for school right now, although draining and sometimes not the most enjoyable thing, I have finally be thrilled to achieve my goals in school... And, it feels great! Maybe, what's left, then, is the sheer fact that something is missing with my relationship with God. Of course, all of the ego and pride that's in me want's to say, "No, there's nothing missing." But I can reassure you, that I'd be lying. It has to be something God is wanting to teach. Maybe I just need to let go of my tightly gripped fingers and just let God take control. You may laugh when you think about that, that I can "let" God take control, but I am being ignorant when I say that. I actually mean I need to reassure myself with knowing God has control, and yes, He will do what He pleases, I just need to worry less. I feel as though God will continue to take things away from me, because so many things have been taking from me recently. I don't want to get to a state where I am holding what I do have, at arms reach. So what then? Do I need to read my Bible more? Yes. Do I need to get on my knees daily and say, "HELP ME GOD." Yes. What else then? I don't know, I don't know what I need to do. Maybe I should just start with what I do know. Reading my Bible more, and just fall to my knees daily to pray, "HELP ME GOD... HELP ME." 

I give everything over to you Lord

The Simple Side

The semester is nearing an end, and I am so extremely excited. I haven't really been finding myself excited about much, until yesterday, I got pleasant news from an advisor at SCC (My college) and she said I didn't need any more math classes! EVER!!! I was so thrilled, I walked out with a big smile! As I began checkin off required classes for my degree in Graphic Design, I was even more thrilled to find out that, I, in fact, have competed more classes than expected! I have done my required amount of English, Math, Social and Behavioral Sciences, Humanities and Fine Arts, and Oral Communication! All I have left, is my Natural Science class, which I'm taking the spring of 09, and then the rest of art classes! Which is about 21 Art classes I can take at SCC, before I move onto ASU. I am taking 4 art classes including my Environmental Biology class next semester, so I will be done at SCC in about a year and a semester!!!!! I feel very proud for the first time, that I have been able to push through something I have dreaded most of my life. Books, tests, quizzes, new classes, new professors, 100,000,000 things I really never had a desire to learn, and now look, I'm one step closer to being done! I am so excited and I am SO THRILLED! I will be about 23 or 24 when I graduate, but I feel like I have really taken ownership of my life and my goals. No encouragement from boyfriends, nothing from my dad, and really the only encouragement I got was from God, from Brittany, from my sister, and occasionally my mom. I'm doing it. And... all though things still sorta suck in my family, I'm succeeding in many things still! I am proud! I'm not boosting, just sharing my excitement. Who would have thought, I would actually be excited about school!! Wow! 

I give everything over to You Lord

Lacking Nothing

To be honest, I'm working through life, so the lack of writing comes from the lack of motivation and the lack of energy. The lack of time, and the lack of excitement. 

I apologize. 

I give everything over to You Lord

EMO

I have been so emotionally draied, so sick and tired, so FED UP with everything dealing with emotions. I have no desire, nothing inside of me, that would remotely want to tap into more of how I'm FEELING. When I feel, when I learn that my emotion's have significance and value, I learn more, that they are not appreciated, they seem worthless, and they aren't encouraged in the slightest bit. No, there is very few people who know my passion, my capibility, my thoughs, and my emotions. The reason being, there are very few people who even take the time, or can even relate to my emotions. I don't even feel safe or comfortable, valued or appreciated in my own home. MY OWN HOME.
I give everything over to You Lord

Dream On

I will no longer give men the front seat in my life. 

They can have the trunk.

Or the back seat...

If their lucky. 

I give everything over to you Lord.

SEKAF

FAKES. I couldn't tell you the pain the irks under my pail skin. The one caused by flesh itself. I am anxious in my own bed. Toss and turn, grow and learn, right? GOD. Who do I trust, when You know, there is no one trustworthy in this life? Who do I share my life with, other than the four walls that make up my room? Who will feel that weight of my tears, as my pillow has for years? I no longer need that "man" they call "dad." No! I'm growing out of his chains of captivity. I am set free. Please, understand, that I still have the blood dripping, tear jerking, heart breaking feelings, scares, wounds, scabs, bruises, and cuts that we're cause by this man... boy. Oh my pain lives on. Once again, please understand, I am not shedding light on my life, so that I can have your concern, nor am I giving into a pity party of depression. This is just the reality of my life, and it's where I stand. Don't get me wrong. I STAND TALL. So this late afternoon, I was at my breaking point, I lost it. So, out flew curse words against hurtful men in my life, my tears overflowed my eyes, and my voice escalated to yelling. I was very upset. I still am very upset. I almost feel hatred in my heart. I promised myself, and I actually never thought I would feel hatred toward someone. Than again, I probably didn't know them back than. Fakes. Yes, the title fits them well. Fakes. Wow. Funny how life... life... Ah... I don't even know anymore. . . I want to push everyone who is close to me, away. I want to hold up a shield of protection, and tape the enemies mouth shut. I'd like to throw out the average, "I'm over it," but I don't want the Fake title smacked on my head. No thank you. They have done a fine job of obtaining the title. 

I give everything over to you Lord

Masked Monster

What Hidden Protection Will I Use Next

I give everything over to you Lord

Kiss me

It's the honesty of someone who says, "I am struggling to be a Christian and I am having a hard time figuring out what that looks like in my life." Or, "I want to do bad things sometimes." It's that same honesty that makes me so happy. I feel sometimes that those who admit, "I don't have it all together, but I'm trying to understand God," are the people who aren't at a comfortable place. They don't have the 10 year christianity thing going for them, they are being pushed and stirred up spiritually. I want that. Maybe not being sure about God gets you to a place where your searching for the answers, which means your growing. Not sugar coated or icing glazed with lies, but whole truths that, "I messed up, I mess up, and I will continue to mess up." I would rather turmoil from someone admitting they're doing something deliberately wrong, than to hide behind their mess, living in sin, and in denial. The pure honesty of my friend is admirable. I'm sure everything I've been saying doesn't make sense, but it's hard to put in words what I'm feeling, or the significance of it. I think my friend Angel, is the first friend I've encountered that is on the thin line fighting what the world wants, and what the Lord wants. Although, it is hard to watch sometimes, I am so happy I can be there to encourage him, becoming an example again. I walk him through things in his life, but I can't wait for the day when he walks tall on his own. I have faith and expectancy, that he will walk tall on his own!! Let me make sure you understand, that I am not talking as if I'm above him in anyway, because I am still understand what Christianity is in my own life. I have just been through a few things and God had grace on me, so now I can give grace. I have so much love for this boy. He has an amazingly beautiful heart, and I am blessed to have him as a friend. For the first time, I feel like a guy can be open with me, because we're friends. No strings attached, and no romantic relations involved. It's nice to be friends. So hopefully Angel and I can keep teaching each other things. With open minds and open hearts, we can be friends, a friendship blessed with a kiss from God. I am excited to see what the Lord has for us two, I am so excited. 

In proverbs it says, "In honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."

I give everything over to you Lord

Aren't Jokes Meant To Be Funny?

So if you didn't read my earlier post, "Barrow It," you probably wont understand the significants of this one. But, assuming you have, I got so more good news! After my phone went, and my ipod, I joked that my car would follow after. Well. The jokes not so funny anymore. In the shop goes my car. Somehow my car magically decided to have a problem friday morning. There wasn't any warner signs, or dashboard "Check Engine" light. Wonderfully, the car shop I brought my car to is closed saturday, and sunday. AND. Since I brought my car in friday, they wont start working on it until monday. Of course, "There is no grantee we'll have it done monday either," the kind auto-mechanic assures me! So NOW, I am car-less, phone-less, ipod-less. It's not so much that I feel like everything is getting taken from me, it's that it's one thing after another. The things that I have gotten taken from me, are things I am comfortable with, the things I'm used too. Maybe I'm being pushed to grow, extend my hand to something that isn't familiar, that isn't 'me.' Whatever it is, I'm excited to see what the Lord is going to teach me. As unfortunate as it may seem... 

This is my life, and I'm living it!

And... I'm loving it!

I give everything to You Lord

(Even though it's becoming less and less)

He Will Never Know

He would never know that your adorable black dress soaked up the tears which fell heavily from your eyes. Your smile is so brilliant, capturing, and deeply breath taking, that he would never know your world is falling apart behind it. You are so poised and professional, he would never know you dance around in your underwear when your alone in your room. He would never know, that you feel so uncomfortable, just so that he might feel comfortable at all times. He would never know you had to get up for work at 6:00 a.m, but you talked to him until 3:00 a.m., anyway, because he was lonely. You have the perfect touch and always the right thing to say, but he would never know what he has. He complains that there is no decent girls out in the world, but you would never say, "I am."

I give everything over to you Lord

I'll Still Be Here

She’s the one you call when you’re bored or sometimes when you and your significant other had a fight because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s the one you spend time with between buddies, before you find “The One”. You know the one who hangs around in the meantime.

She’s too laidback, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable – she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real woman does. But she’s cool, nice, funny and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need an intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine.

You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

It won’t bother that you would text her sometimes just to say not to text you because you’re with your girlfriend. She’s just sooo cool…why can’t all women be like that? But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with.

Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs —- she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them does, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s not really your type. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.

She’s just too thoughtful. She’ll sometimes buy you things you need; she’ll sometimes buy you or cook midnight snacks for you and personally deliver it in your place. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has the bigger heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is. She’s just your convenient excuse to fool around.

And... tell me, how come every word in this, I have felt. And.... tell me, why I haven't changed it. 

I give everything over to you Lord